An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation ?
Nowadays , There is no doubt many working professionals
such
as doctors ,engineers and teachers are relocating from their own country
to another nation
to get a better life. In this
essay , I will explain the problem from this
trend and the solution of this
problem i.e. what can be done to avoid this
trend.
To begin
with , Many working professionals are shifting to different countries for many reasons such
as high income, security and standard of living.In addition
, people
want money to lead a happy life and if they are not able to get enough amount as per their experience and education then
only they decide to move to another country
. For Example
,One of my friends recently shifted to Canada because she got a lucrative job offer almost four times higher than her current package, so she grabbed this
opportunity and shifted to Canada.
Secondly
, It would be difficult for a nation
to boost its economy, if all educated and talented resources moved from there. For Instance
, A study revealed that Japanese people
do not leave their country
because they are getting all the facilities in their home nation
only and as a result
, Japan is one of the most developed nations in the entire world.
To Conclude
, I suggest that the government should take some necessary action to stop the moving of educated people
from their native country
to a developed country
like recognition of work ,awards, and relaxation of tax and medical facilities. I believe that if talented people
leave the country
then
it will definitely, affect the growth of the nation
.Submitted by preetiaug25 on
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific and varied examples to support your points. Right now, the examples are somewhat generic, and more specific details would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed explanation of the potential problems caused by the migration of professionals and their wider impact on the society and economy of their home countries.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on a single idea. In some parts of the essay, ideas are intermingled, which can confuse readers.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to ensure smooth flow from one idea to the next. This will improve the essay's overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
Good use of examples in the body paragraphs, particularly the personal anecdote about your friend moving to Canada.
task achievement
You have addressed the task quite well by identifying both problems and suggested solutions, which shows a good understanding of the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.