IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

#people #time #friends #life #support
These days,
people
 have various beliefs that are based on their personalities about their
time
.
for example
, a group of the population like to spend their
time
 with other
people
such
 as their friends
while
 some
people
 prefer to become individuals. I subscribe to the first group owing to the fact that spending
time
 with other
people
 helps to improve
people
's social behaviours and prevent mental issues. On the one hand, if communities have a lot of
people
 and invest their
time
 with them, they can see a range of the manners and habits that
people
 have.
In other words
, interaction with other
people
 demonstrates several behavioural effects and we can choose the best manners that have a positive influence on other populations.
In addition
, interaction with friends teaches
people
 how they should do different happening.
On the other hand
, the fact
that is
 really crucial is that a number of
people
 who do not go out or spend their
time
 with other
people
 after a long run
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will become sick, which their mental issue impacts their body's health, inasmuch as humans are sociable and have to spend a sufficient
time
 in society;
furthermore
, when
people
 spend their
time
 alone, they use social media, which has a negative impact on
people
's mental.
To sum up
, in my opinion, a healthy lifestyle requires spending
time
 with other
people
 who teach us what manners are needed in bad or good situations and improve our social behaviour;
moreover
,
this
 element keeps us healthier.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is adequately supported with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to make sure that your main ideas and examples are presented clearly and comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression by using transitional words or phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph develops a single main idea, guiding the reader through with clear topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, demonstrating a coherent structure.
task achievement
The response addresses both perspectives of the topic and provides a personal preference.
task achievement
The language used indicates a good control over vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate for the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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