IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

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These days,
people
Use synonyms
 have various beliefs that are based on their personalities about their
time
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.
for example
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, a group of the population like to spend their
time
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 with other
people
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such
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 as their friends
while
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 some
people
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 prefer to become individuals. I subscribe to the first group owing to the fact that spending
time
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 with other
people
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 helps to improve
people
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's social behaviours and prevent mental issues. On the one hand, if communities have a lot of
people
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 and invest their
time
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 with them, they can see a range of the manners and habits that
people
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 have.
In other words
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, interaction with other
people
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 demonstrates several behavioural effects and we can choose the best manners that have a positive influence on other populations.
In addition
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, interaction with friends teaches
people
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 how they should do different happening.
On the other hand
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, the fact
that is
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 really crucial is that a number of
people
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 who do not go out or spend their
time
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 with other
people
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 after a long run
,
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apply
show examples
 will become sick, which their mental issue impacts their body's health, inasmuch as humans are sociable and have to spend a sufficient
time
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 in society;
furthermore
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, when
people
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 spend their
time
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 alone, they use social media, which has a negative impact on
people
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's mental.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, a healthy lifestyle requires spending
time
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 with other
people
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 who teach us what manners are needed in bad or good situations and improve our social behaviour;
moreover
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,
this
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 element keeps us healthier.

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What works well

3
coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, demonstrating a coherent structure.

task achievement

The response addresses both perspectives of the topic and provides a personal preference.

task achievement

The language used indicates a good control over vocabulary and sentence structures appropriate for the task.

Improvement Suggestions

4
task achievement

Ensure that each main point is adequately supported with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Try to make sure that your main ideas and examples are presented clearly and comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical progression by using transitional words or phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph develops a single main idea, guiding the reader through with clear topic sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preference
  • solitude
  • social skills
  • emotional support
  • self-reflection
  • personal growth
  • sense of belonging
  • mental health
  • sense of community
  • concentration
  • productivity
  • lasting memories
  • creativity
  • perspective
  • original thought
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