These days, many people are interested in watching sports on TV. Some people think it has a lot of drawbacks. To what exten do you agree or disagree?

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These days, it is obvious that individuals have become more interested in watching

sports

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. In my opinion, I believe that watching

sports

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can bring about more advantages for viewers compared to any problems it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by the audiences watching

sports

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are extremely useful for them.

Firstly

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, most of the

sports

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matches are held outside their home country, which does not provide the opportunity to watch them live.

In Other words

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while

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it is exciting to watch a football match in a stadium, it takes a significant amount of money to be able to attend.

Therefore

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, watching

sports

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is accessible to all

sports

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enthusiasts.

Secondly

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, the environment in a stadium is notoriously sensitive, where even minor setbacks can spark intense reactions among fans.

For example

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, when a team loses, its fans can become volatile and aggressive, as if they've been triggered like a safety bomb. Watching the game at home can be a much safer and more peaceful experience. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when people watch

sports

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. One problem is the impact it can have on social and family relationships.

For instance

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, people who spend excessive amounts of time watching

sports

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may neglect their responsibilities,

such

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as attending family gatherings or participating in social events, leading to feelings of guilt and isolation. Another negative aspect is that watching

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on a daily basis could cause serious long-term damage to the eyes

due to

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the radiation emitted by the

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, which is difficult to avoid except by reducing the amount of time wasted on the Television. In conclusion, watching

sports

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offers convenience

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apply

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provides global access, and clearly outweighs any disadvantages, making it an excellent way to enjoy the game.

qusai.max6Thu Jun 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further enhance the essay, ensure each supporting point is consistently linked to the main arguments. This will improve the logical flow.

task achievement

While the essay generally addresses the prompt effectively, more clarification could be offered on each advantage and disadvantage. This addition may provide a deeper insight.

task achievement

Including more varied examples would increase the relevance and persuasive power of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in delivering your points effectively.

task achievement

The ideas presented are generally clear and show a good understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Utilizing specific examples like the volatile environment in stadiums does well to illustrate your points.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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