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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014
#visitor #visitors #zealand #countries #years
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The graph illustrates the expenses that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists from five different states including
Australia
Use synonyms
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, Japan, and China had per
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
year in the destination country, New Zealand, between 1996 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, despite the fact that their expenditures had some fluctuations,
Australia
Use synonyms
 spent the most compared to other countries all the 18 years. By way of comparison, the ratio of spending had increased in three countries
such
Linking Words
 as
Australia
Use synonyms
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. Being always the highest rank,
Australia
Use synonyms
 started from 1000$ in the year 1996 and
at the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 duration reached 2000$.
This
Linking Words
 line graph
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Change the word
its
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 peak in 2006 with the price of 2500$ annually.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Japan and China were reported to have several changes
while
Linking Words
 the
overall
Linking Words
 growth was slightly low.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Japan was likely to have the same amount of spending in both years 1996 and 2014,
however
Linking Words
, it
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 its peak in the year 2002 by the amount of 1000$.
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditure
  • tourism revenue
  • spending trends
  • economic impact
  • visitor spend
  • tourism sector
  • peak spending
  • fluctuations
  • incline/decline in spending
  • monetary contribution
  • tourist demographics
  • economic conditions
  • tourism campaigns
  • statistical analysis
  • data interpretation
  • fiscal year
  • extrapolate data
  • spending patterns
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