Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, learners are in advance to pay all the money for their own studies, because a college education brings more pros to individuals than social community.
This
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writer disagrees with
this
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statement and will explain why during the essay. It must be understood that not everyone can afford the full-cost course.
Due to
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poverty, many learners just only study with the assistance of a university education. If there was not any help, they could not go to school and continue to study.
Furthermore
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, they must stop their studying and start to find jobs or make money to help themselves and
also
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their families. Taking students in mountainous areas in Vietnam as examples, they all live in difficulties and without assistance, they cannot study.
Therefore
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, universities should only pay part of the tuition to ensure everyone can go to school. Another point worth being considered is that students have lots of motivation with the assistance of college. To be more specific, they all feel grateful and appreciative of their universities.
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, educators will try their best and devote themselves a lot.
Moreover
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,
this
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also
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helps the community to find out the country's talents
due to
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the fact that students don’t need to spend their free time working part-time to cover college costs, rather than partaking in
such
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activities to give back to society. In conclusion, providing public subsidies for tertiary education studies does not only make educators themselves a service but
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the public thanks to the decline in criminal activities and increase in students’ participation in voluntary work.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more effectively by presenting each main idea clearly at the beginning and then following up with supporting details and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make it more engaging for the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your examples are specific and directly support the argument you are making. This helps to strengthen your overall task achievement.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your argument with more detailed explanations and in-depth analysis of how university education benefits society, not just the individual. This will help to fully address the essay prompt.
Task Achievement
You've effectively addressed the essay topic and presented a clear stance, which is a good practice for task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
You successfully used an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, which helps in maintaining a good structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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