Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society

Nowadays, learners are in advance to pay all the money for their own studies, because a college education brings more pros to individuals than social community.

This

writer disagrees with

this

statement and will explain why during the essay. It must be understood that not everyone can afford the full-cost course.

Due to

poverty, many learners just only study with the assistance of a university education. If there was not any help, they could not go to school and continue to study.

Furthermore

, they must stop their studying and start to find jobs or make money to help themselves and

also

their families. Taking students in mountainous areas in Vietnam as examples, they all live in difficulties and without assistance, they cannot study.

Therefore

, universities should only pay part of the tuition to ensure everyone can go to school. Another point worth being considered is that students have lots of motivation with the assistance of college. To be more specific, they all feel grateful and appreciative of their universities.

Thus

, educators will try their best and devote themselves a lot.

Moreover

this

also

helps the community to find out the country's talents

due to

the fact that students don’t need to spend their free time working part-time to cover college costs, rather than partaking in

such

activities to give back to society. In conclusion, providing public subsidies for tertiary education studies does not only make educators themselves a service but

also

the public thanks to the decline in criminal activities and increase in students’ participation in voluntary work.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon May 06 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Try to structure your paragraphs more effectively by presenting each main idea clearly at the beginning and then following up with supporting details and examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of sentence structures and linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make it more engaging for the reader.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your examples are specific and directly support the argument you are making. This helps to strengthen your overall task achievement.

Task Achievement

Work on developing your argument with more detailed explanations and in-depth analysis of how university education benefits society, not just the individual. This will help to fully address the essay prompt.

Task Achievement

You've effectively addressed the essay topic and presented a clear stance, which is a good practice for task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

You successfully used an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, which helps in maintaining a good structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficiary
accountability
economic mobility
social inequalities
subsidized education
vocational training
deliberate choice
earning potential
public funding
societal benefits
innovation
self-financing
social mobility
economic equality
grants
scholarships

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Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Should parents put their infants in day-care centers?