The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvatages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, real-life interaction has been replaced with social networks.
This
essay will argue that despite the opportunity to be in touch with friends and family, the deterioration of communication skills means that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. These technological advancements allow people to be in contact over long distances. Take,
for example
, international students who are studying at a university in a foreign country because there is no good third-level education in their motherland. In order to get mental support, these young people chat with their parents daily through networking via video or audio calls.
However
, I do not think that these right set of circumstances should be seen as a major advantage of life because they may result in the loss of certain soft skills in the long run. On the negative side, replacing face-to-face contact may lead to the degradation of communication skills. A person who connects with other humans only on social media will gradually forget how to properly talk in real life, where there is no chance to
deflact
Correct your spelling
deflect
what you say.
This
can result in low self-esteem, loneliness, or depression.
For instance
, the survey conducted in the hospitalization
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
for teenagers in the USA revealed that 37% of patients who attempted suicide were isolated from the real world in the past. I think that risks like these are extremely important because they can be life-changing. In conclusion,
although
using a public network
instead
can give a chance to connect with loved ones from far distances, I believe
this
upside is greatly outweighed by the downside that the replacement may lead to a loss of skill, which is crucial for life.
Submitted by Aqxniet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure the essay directly addresses all aspects of the task, staying focused on discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
While the ideas are clear, consider further developing the arguments and adding more specific examples to illustrate points better.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. Using linking words and phrases can better connect ideas and sections.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents an introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the argument.
supported main points
Main points are well supported with examples and explanations.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is clear, making it easy to follow the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: