Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In an ever-progressive
society
, many people
believe that the full cost of education
should be paid by students
due to
it provides more benefits for them than society
. This
writer contends that university education
primarily advances individual careers, whereas
others argue that a more educated population drives innovation and economic growth.
The main benefit of this
situation is person learn more academic knowledge for their personal career. In other words
, with higher academic degrees, people
can gain a lot of opportunities for promotion and a level salary, contributing to their life becoming better, hence
beneficiaries should bear the costs. For example
, in many countries around the world, the interview of individuals will be assessed better if they have higher and more impression qualifications to attract businesspeople. Hence
, according to
equality, students
should pay their own fees for study due to
the affection they gain.
However
, there are some opinions of others who think that educated people
can help that country in innovation and economic growth. They argue that in the future, students
will be the main labour force in the country who will be working for them, so full tuition fees for students
can encourage them to learn more knowledge and improve society
. This
is credible, but with investments in personal education
, students
can have higher opportunities for jobs and achievements, that can enhance their own living standard. Also
, authorities are aware of the unfair advantage to wealthy students
if education
costs are borne individually, so they have provided many scholarships for poor students
to encourage them to continue their studies.
In conclusion, study costs should be paid by learners because of the opportunities they gain from it. However
, in some people
's opinion, the government should pay all course fees for them due to
their devotion to society
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Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea supported by specific examples or pieces of evidence. This makes your essay more persuasive and impactful.
Language Proficiency
Improve the range and accuracy of your grammatical structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision in expressing your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs, contributing to a smoother reading experience.
Task Achievement
In discussing both sides of the argument, ensure that you present a balanced overview before stating your position clearly in the conclusion. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both the benefits of individual payment for education and its impact on society, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in making your argument coherent and easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You included relevant examples and reasoning to support your points, which helps in making your argument more persuasive.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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