Student should pay the full cost for their own study,because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because individuals take more advantage of learning at the university than society does so, some people say that
students
should buy courses by themselves without any other funds. 
This
author disputes the idea
due to
a lack of encouragement for
students
and faulty notions that it may cause. It is common for
students
in higher education to receive additional funds from the government, banks, and their families. The reason behind
this
is to stimulate the scholars to continue their study which will help them gain more practical skills and knowledge that are useful for their future.
Furthermore
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 rewarding scholarships can both attract gifted
students
and build the universities' reputation,
therefore
, more citizens will decide to stay and serve 
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the nation.
For example
, Havard, a top-tier school in the United States, is famous for its enormous scholarships for any student in the world.
Hence
, it is reasonable to keep the scheme as it gives perks to everyone involved and without it,
students
will feel discouraged. Cutting off those supported money will not have any impact on boosting the local economy as some people may believe.
This
money will indeed be invested in upgrading infrastructures or enhancing local health but who will do all the work when
students
are not enrolled in university because of the fees?
Thus
,
this
abundance of money should be used wisely and the most optimal way to do it is
providing
Change preposition
by providing
show examples
funds for scholars. In conclusion, a funding scheme plays a vital role in encouraging
students
to broaden their knowledge,
while
universities and communities
also
take benefit of it through the services they bring after school which means continuing is better than abandoning.
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Structure
Your essay presents a clear structure with a straightforward introduction, convincing body paragraphs, and an effective conclusion. To enhance your work, consider diversifying your sentence structures to add complexity and depth.
Examples
Make sure to provide a range of examples that are specific and directly relevant to your argument. Incorporating studies, statistics, or real-world instances can significantly strengthen your argument.
Perspective
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, but for even greater impact, try to explore the topic from all relevant viewpoints before reaching a conclusion. This gives your argument depth and persuasiveness.
Stance
Work on developing a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to immediately present a clear stance on the topic. This will help guide your reader through your argument from the beginning.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your viewpoint and leaving a lasting impression.
Linking
You have demonstrated a good ability to link ideas smoothly, making your argument easy to follow.
Examples
Your use of scholarship examples (e.g., Havard) adds credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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