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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, few individuals rely on
parents
for instilling
Change preposition
to instill
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 values
on
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of
show examples
 being a decent member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
to
Change preposition
in
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 their kids.
Whereas
, some believe that teachers play a vital role in doing
this
.
However
, In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views and state my opinion
the
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on the
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 latter view. There is no doubt that
schools
also
 play an important role in establishing the
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 of the little ones
,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
 teaching them to be more independent.
However
, I believe in the saying that '
parents
 are the child’s first teacher'. But sometimes,
schools
 don’t always give
children
 the hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 focus they need to have.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example, there are many
schools
 that are not privately operated and are cost
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
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, in these
schools
 not every child is given proper attention,
in
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apply
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which sometimes,
children
 get bullied but there is no one to hear their worries.
Additionally
,
Correct article usage
the Schools
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Schools
Fix the agreement mistake
School
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 teaching system is weighed on how costly
schools
 are, the more
high rated
Add a hyphen
high-rated
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schools
 are, the
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better they are
in
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at
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 teaching
children
. Not every youngster
can deserve
Wrong verb form
deserves
show examples
 a
high rated
Add a hyphen
high-rated
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 school.
Therefore
,
this
 lacks the confidence of
children
, as they are not taught proper leadership skills. I believe that
parents
 play a very crucial role in building a solid foundation in
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
 developmental stage. Nurture starts from home, and
this
 is where
parents
 need to guide their
children
 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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for
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
For instance
, studies have revealed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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due to
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apply
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bad parenting, and using violent
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
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 or actions
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of the child has made those
children
also
 do the same with other
children
 and bully their classmates by following the footsteps of their
parents
.
Nevertheless
, it is very important for
parents
 to be careful of their actions and
words
Correct article usage
the words
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 they use in front of their young ones, as based on psychological studies, kids grasp what is happening around them very
quicky
Correct your spelling
quickly
show examples
 and practice it on others. In conclusion,
although
 sending
children
 to school is one way of making them a better citizen in the future, I firmly believe
domestice
Correct your spelling
domestic
 upbringing is the main key
in
Change preposition
to
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molding
Change the spelling
moulding
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 a
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
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 behaviour and making them a mannered person to serve
for
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apply
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their country in the future.
Submitted by khadiii60 on

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Specific Examples
Try to enhance the clarity of your examples by relating them more directly to the thesis of the essay. Specific, real-world examples can strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.
Grammar & Punctuation
Review your essay for punctuation and grammar accuracy. Small errors can distract from the overall message. Remember, using varied sentence structures can also enrich your writing.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Your conclusion effectively sums up your viewpoint, but making sure that your introduction clearly outlines the essay's direction can further improve clarity.
Linking Words
To increase coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Structural Strength
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your argument.
Balanced Argument
Good job discussing both views before stating your own opinion, providing a balanced discussion.
Focus on Topic
The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout, successfully addressing the essay prompt.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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