Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
nowadays, many
students
work
to support themselves. moreover
, at the same time they study which puts lots of difficulty on them. for example
, working late till midnight or hard labour jobs or jobs that require intense thinking skills. and, all of these working conditions can lead to a negative impact on their study results, in this
essay I will explain some of the causes and the solutions to this
problem.
firstly
, it appears that some students
work
to cover their expenses. otherwise
, students
will not be able to pay the rising cost of education. let alone the other expenses like rent, food , studying materials and transportation. In addition
, some study far away from home and others do not have a family that can support them with school fees, which leads them to find work
so they can afford to learn and live at the same time.
secondly
, I can suggest two possible solutions to this
problem. firstly
the government can step in to make education free for all, either from taxpayer's money or from the government budget, as a result
, this
solution will tremendously ease the burden of many families and their children, therefore
students
can focus only on their learning. secondly
, online learning is a great offer with many benefits, for example
, students
do not have to leave their homes to pay rent or altogether work
. As a result
, students
can save a lot of money and above all
it is affordable.
in conclusion, working while
studying can severely impact student life in many negative ways, and this
problem can be solved by government interventions by removing the money barrier from education or students
can use the less expensive methods provided by E-learning.Submitted by vivaalain on
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Introduction
Your introduction neatly outlines the issues to be discussed, providing a clear direction for your essay. Consider incorporating a more detailed thesis statement to strengthen your introduction.
Cohesion
To enhance the cohesion between paragraphs, you might consider using a wider range of linking words. This could help in making your argument flow more smoothly and logically from one idea to the next.
Supporting Examples
Your examples are relevant and support your arguments well. You could further improve by providing more specific and detailed examples to illustrate your points, particularly in the solutions section.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay's main points. For future essays, you could enhance your conclusion by clearly restating your opinion or suggesting a final thought for the reader to consider.
Language Accuracy
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Content
You've successfully identified causes and solutions related to the issue, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic.
Structure
Your essay structure is well-organized, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization aids in presenting your ideas clearly.
'Critical Thinking
Your initiative to propose solutions like government interventions and online learning showcases your ability to think critically about the topic.