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Band 6.5

Some people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why is this? Do you think the government should spend more money supporting the local film industry?

#people #films #government #money #film #industry
In the modern era, many
people
 would like to watch
films
 produced by foreign countries rather than their own country's
movies
. There are so many reasons contributing to
this
 phenomenon. But I strongly advocate for the notion that the government should spend more money on making local
films
 than on
films
 from other countries.
Due to
 the advance of technology, an increasing number of
people
 can access many kinds of
movies
 in many ways
such
 as television, cinema, and computer.
However
, foreign
films
 seem to be dominant in those channels. One reason that can contribute to
this
 is that human beings have an inborn curiosity toward new things thereby they want to explore some things that they are not usually exposed to. Foreign
movies
 contain different styles and cultures,
as well as
 customs and languages, which seem to be interesting to viewers.
For instance
, in Vietnam, many kinds of
films
 ranging from cartoons to romantic
movies
 predominantly appear in the cinema
while
 the number of traditional
films
 is negligible. The underlying reason for
this
 phenomenon is that fewer and fewer local
people
 want to see their country's
movies
, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local film productions suffer serious losses, forcing them to withdraw their
films
 from the cinema. When it comes to the government, I think they should address
this
 problem seriously because local
films
 contain traditional values and cultural heritage.
For example
, historical
films
 present their country's heroic moments in the past to make
people
 in
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
 era remember how their ancestors protected their countries in that difficult era. Especially, young
people
 can feel proud of their history and tend to find ways to preserve their traditional values.
To conclude
,
due to
 the fact that humans always want to seek something new and modern, the local film industry
witnesses
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 a downward trend in how many
people
 want to see traditional
movies
.
However
, I believe that increased financial support could help to raise the quality of locally made
films
 and allow them to compete with the foreign productions that currently dominate the market.
Submitted by phuongnga24042003 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to fully support your points. For instance, mention specific local films or foreign films that illustrate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This helps in maintaining the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and relevant response to the task, effectively discussing both aspects of the question.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present the main points of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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