Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

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A considerable number of individuals have the opinion that staying home or outside is not safe

due to

Linking Words

increasing crimes.

However

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, if the

government

Use synonyms

takes action and provides some strict rules

then

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it can be sorted out. There are many reasons people are not feeling safe, which is the rising

crime

Use synonyms

day by day. That means many individuals are unemployed and drug addicted these days, and they need money for their expenses, which leads to committing crimes

such

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as snatching and stealing the money and sometimes they shoot others which leads to being scared by society.

For example

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one-day

Correct your spelling

one day

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young adults were trying to invade my sister’s house who were clearly seen by their appearance that they must be drug addicted but they ran out after hearing the voice of her father-in-law.

Thus

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, people feel insecure because of

this

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crime

Use synonyms

either not at home.

On the other hand

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, imposing strict regulations and actions by the

government

Use synonyms

can control

this

Linking Words

crime

Use synonyms

and people will start to feel safe. Awareness programmes can be helpful for an individual

such

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as the latest update about the criminals on social media and offering work to the unemployed could prevent the

crime

Use synonyms

For instance

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, if a person has a source of income,

then

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he/she will not need to commit

this

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crime

Use synonyms

Furthermore

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, The authorities should put some strict obligations on drugs as well so that an individual will not tend to take them.

Therefore

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, with the help of the

government

Use synonyms

can solve

this

Linking Words

situation and reduce

this

Linking Words

crime

Use synonyms

To conclude

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, unemployment could be the main reason to commit

crime

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and others will not feel safe but taking some strict actions and providing work by the

government

Use synonyms

could resolve

this

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issue.

APMon May 06 2024

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task achievement

Try to clarify and deepen your analysis of the causes and solutions. While you've identified key issues such as unemployment and drug addiction, elaborating on how these lead to a feeling of insecurity at home or outside could strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay structure benefits from having both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument cohesively. For even better clarity, consider elaborating your thesis statement and summarising your main points more distinctly in your conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Introduce a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. While your essay flows logically, the use of varied linking words can enhance the readability and organization of your arguments.

task achievement

Incorporate a broader variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to develop your arguments further. This can make your essay more dynamic and engaging to read, showcasing your language ability.

task achievement

You've made a good effort in identifying key societal issues relating to safety, such as crime driven by unemployment and drug addiction, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your inclusion of examples, like the attempted invasion of your sister’s house, provides concrete evidence to support your arguments, strengthening your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

In the developed world avarage life expectancy is increasing in modern life. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging-population. What problem will this causefor individuals and society.

A faction of people holds the notion that juveniles should be independent from their parents, others argue that they must be supervised and controlled by their parents. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and express my support for the latter view with relevant illustrations

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion