IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

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A large number of citizens spend their
time
Use synonyms
 working
also
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 they put an insignificant amount of their life to themselves fulfilment.I think
this
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 occurrence has catastrophic effects and its cons completely outweigh the pros,
i
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I
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 will discuss both views and give relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, nowadays modern life has developed in a dramatic way and it is challenging for the population to reach their goals,
additionally
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,
this
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 happening has significant drawbacks.
For instance
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, depression or no occasion to recover and not having a specific
time
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 for family members. Because of
this
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 event people especially grown-ups are frustrated gradually.
For example
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, in labour positions staff have to work all weekdays and
also
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 they have forced extra hours and if they do not participate in
this
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 schedule their job will be in danger so they ignore their basic needs and families just to be able to keep food on
table
Add an article
the table
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 of the household.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 program has a few benefits that can be beneficial just in the short-term ,
such
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 as, for beginner workers and inexperience population they can spend more
time
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 working and grab as much information as possible in a short period of
time
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.
However
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, if
this
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 timetable lasts longer it will illustrate its side effects that can be harmful to both the mental and physical aspects of the human body and personal life. in conclusion, spending more future in the occupation position in the erosion process can cause a major number of decreases,
however
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, it is good but just for those who are immature and want to do
this
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 activity in short length.

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Organize paragraph structure
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. This helps with logical structure and makes your argument easier to follow.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly signposted. The introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic, while the conclusion should summarize your main points.
Support for Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your points more convincing.
Language Use
Be careful with your grammar and vocabulary. Simple, clear language is often more effective than complex expressions that are prone to errors.
Task Achievement
Revisit the IELTS Task 2 marking criteria to better understand what is expected in terms of task achievement. Make sure you fully address the question and provide a balanced discussion.
Clear Stance
You provided a clear stance on the topic, which is a positive aspect of responding to Task 2 questions.
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