IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is being argued that government expenditures should go on something more beneficial than the
arts
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay,
however
Linking Words
, strongly disagrees with the statement because investment in the
arts
Use synonyms
 will help a
country
Use synonyms
 to represent its
history
Use synonyms
 and culture
as well as
Linking Words
 it has the potential to generate revenue like other public services. First off, the
arts
Use synonyms
 are the various practices formed by creativity and imagination which illustrate the
history
Use synonyms
 and national legacies of a particular nation.
That is
Linking Words
 why, investing money in them should not be overlooked as their reconstruction and redecoration are necessary for preserving the
country
Use synonyms
’s
history
Use synonyms
 and culture. These are elements that we cannot forget to protect
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that if we do not do that, every building, statue or painting is going to be destroyed or damaged.
For example
Linking Words
, historic buildings,
such
Linking Words
 as the Colosseum or the Pantheon located in Rome, would not be here nowadays without the spending from the government to maintain them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all the existing
arts
Use synonyms
 allow a certain nation to make more money as it has the capability to produce revenue as other public services,
such
Linking Words
 as health and education. By investing in them and protecting them tourists from all over the world may decide to visit a specific
country
Use synonyms
 to view its art which leads to making the economy circulate.
For instance
Linking Words
, in cities like Rome that are famous for their art, people from different parts visit them throughout the year and
therefore
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
 gains a lot of capital. In conclusion, I strongly oppose the statement and don't think that it is a waste of capital to invest in art, because it shows the national legacies and
history
Use synonyms
 of a
country
Use synonyms
, and the government will
also
Linking Words
 gain more money than the one it spent.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Variety
To further enhance your essay, aim for variety in sentence structures and vocabulary. This adds depth to your argument and showcases a higher level of language proficiency.
Supporting Details
Consider including more in-depth examples or statistics to back up your points. While the current examples are effective, additional detail can provide stronger support for your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-composed; however, ensuring that these sections succinctly capture your main arguments and reflections can make your stance even clearer to the reader.
Logical Structure
Your use of logical structure and flow between paragraphs is commendable.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a strong task achievement with clear, comprehensive ideas and relevant examples.
Use of Examples
Including the economic benefits of arts investments is an excellent strategy for strengthening your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: