Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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Mobile phones are becoming more common on a regular basis, which provide both positive and negative effects on

people

Use synonyms

and society. On the positive side, it enables

people

Use synonyms

to communicate with others more effectively and

also

Linking Words

revolutionises news broadcasting methods.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, relying on phones excessively could lead to several health issues, and

also

Linking Words

lacking some essential life skills. As for the benefits, the most prominent ones are the convenience and faster communication methods. With advanced technology,

people

Use synonyms

can connect to each other spontaneously through their personal devices in the form of texts or video calls online.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, news agencies have changed their way of sharing the news, from televisions and newspapers to faster websites and social media platforms,

such

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as Twitter.

In contrast

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, it is inevitable that when

people

Use synonyms

are exposed to too much screen time, it can cause health-related issues.

For example

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, blue light emitted from the screen could harm the eyes which eventually ends up with a permanent effect on the eyesight with myopia. Long screen time

also

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has psychological effects, with ADHD or other mental disorders.

Moreover

Linking Words

, with the convenience of various applications, young adults who were accustomed to mainly

utilise

Wrong verb form

utilising

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the devices on fundamental daily activities,

such

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as Google Maps, may have less experience in doing things conventionally. And, they would face some difficulties, when they need to do things conventionally. In conclusion, society

receive

Change the verb form

receives

show examples

advantages in using phones, with faster and more convenient information transfer.

However

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, spending too much time with the device can cause some physical and psychological health problems, and a lack of basic life skills.

pimpisut.sataTue May 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve, consider diversifying the vocabulary and sentence structures used in your essay to make it more engaging and to better demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples or evidence to deepen the analysis of both advantages and disadvantages. This enhancement will strengthen your essay's persuasiveness and depth of insight.

task achievement

Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, effectively outlining the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone use.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, is commendable. This organization aids in making your argument more understandable and impactful.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Your opinion

Nowadays the diferent between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Weddings are more expensive in many countries nowadays when compared to the past . What is the reason behind this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that too much money and time have been allocated to scientific research. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.