IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #country #environment
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A group of people consider that it is predicted that countries succeed in the economy and save the
environment
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;
in contrast
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, other populations do not accept
this
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 perspective. In my opinion, when governments want to save their
environment
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 and have economic growth in the long run, it will be possible. On the one hand, the main method that countries across the world follow is finding sustainable practices that are really eco-friendly and have the highest rate of economic impact.
For example
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, today, most areas around the world, generate their electricity from renewable resources namely, solar panels, wind turbines and so on.
In addition
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, authorities invest a lot of money in innovative new facilities, which require less energy, emit little greenhouse gas, and need fewer sectors for working;
nevertheless
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, they have a majority efficiency.
As a result
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, if companies utilize these items,
then
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 the number of their goods and profits increase;
although
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,they do not have a negative effect on the
environment
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.
On the other hand
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, when areas want to receive the maximum money in a short time, they destroy the
environment
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 by establishing massive factories and developing their industries.
In other words
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, the
environment
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 in developing countries is on the brink of extension for climbing the economy by using heavy industries like refineries.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, sustainable factors,
such
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 as using clean power and finding efficient devices by governments on account of the fact that they have a less negative impact on the surroundings;
whereas
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, the economy has a good situation.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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Task Achievement
Try to clarify the distinction between the views more distinctly in your introduction.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed or varied examples to enhance your argument, particularly in support of your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on transitioning more smoothly between points, to improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and both give a clear indication of the essay's direction.
Task Achievement
The central idea is clearly expressed and maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economically successful
  • Clean environment
  • Sustainable practices
  • Green technologies
  • Eco-tourism
  • Healthier workforce
  • Healthcare costs
  • Short-term economic growth
  • Profit over environment
  • Heavy industries
  • Developing countries
  • Sacrifice
  • Economic development
  • Transitioning
  • Balance
  • Sustainable development
  • International cooperation
  • Incentivize
  • Eco-friendly business practices
  • Investment in education
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