Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In examining the root causes of
crime
, two predominant perspectives emerge: the socio-economic perspective, which attributes criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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to external circumstances
such
as poverty and social inequalities, and the individualistic perspective, which posits that criminal acts stem from inherent moral deficiencies or "bad" nature within individuals. From the socio-economic standpoint, proponents argue that
crime
is a consequence of systemic injustices and disparities in society. Those living in poverty-stricken areas often face limited access to education, employment opportunities, and social support systems, leading to feelings of alienation and desperation. In
such
environments,
crime
may be viewed as a means of survival or a response to perceived injustices, rather than a reflection of inherent immorality.
Conversely
, advocates of the individualistic perspective contend that criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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is primarily a result of personal choices and character traits. They argue that
while
socio-economic factors may influence an individual's circumstances, ultimately, the decision to engage in criminal activity is a reflection of one's moral compass and values.
According to
this
view, individuals who commit crimes do so out of a fundamental lack of empathy, self-control, or ethical standards.
However
, the reality likely lies somewhere in between these two extremes.
While
social conditions undoubtedly play a significant role in shaping
behavior
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behaviour
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, individual agency and accountability cannot be discounted entirely. Many scholars advocate for a holistic approach that addresses both the structural inequalities that contribute to
crime
and the individual-level interventions aimed at addressing underlying psychological and
behavioral
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behavioural
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issues. In my opinion,
while
socio-economic factors undoubtedly play a significant role in shaping criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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, attributing all
crime
solely to external circumstances oversimplifies a complex issue. A comprehensive approach that acknowledges the interplay between social, economic, and individual factors is essential in addressing and preventing
crime
effectively.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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Task Achievement
In your introduction, you clearly set up the dichotomy of perspectives which prepares the reader for your discussion. To even further enhance your task response, consider introducing specific examples or case studies that illustrate each perspective. This will not only support your arguments but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a well-organized structure with a clear introduction, development of points, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, you might consider using a wider range of linking phrases to smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs, creating an even more seamless flow.
Task Achievement
You have demonstrated an excellent grasp of the topic by discussing the socio-economic and individualistic perspectives in a balanced manner.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively presents a nuanced view that acknowledges the complexity of the issue, aligning well with the requirements for a high-scoring essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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