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Writing Samples
Band 5

technology is transforming the way education is being imparted. Discuss the advantages and potential drawbacks of digital learning platforms and their impact on traditional education systems.

#technology #education #platforms #impact #systems
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In the modern era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
technology
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 has
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
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in
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on
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 diverse spheres of
lives
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life
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 and education is no exception. It is debated that cooperating
technology
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 in
educational
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the educational
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 system would have benefits and drawbacks. In the following essay, the points of these two views will
discuss
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be discussed
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. It is universally acknowledged that
the
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apply
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state-of-the-art education is adapted more to the modern generation. The benefits of incorporating
technology
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 in education will consist of;
first,
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the traffic jam will noticeably drop off. To put it differently, teachers, students, and
also
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 parents do not spend most of their
time
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 on transferring.
Secondly
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, students would participate in their
classes
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 in every situation.
For example
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, during the pandemic,
the
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apply
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school was shut and students were prevented from studying,
however
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, online
classes
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 rescued the
educating
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education
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 process. In stark contrast, in some countries,
such
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 as Iran,
lack
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the lack
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 of online
infrastructures
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infrastructure
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 causes
the
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apply
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internet interruption and disconnecting frequently.
As a result
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, it will be annoying and stressful
particularly
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, particularly
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 in the online exam
time
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.
Furthermore
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, the chance of making
friend
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friends
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 and
also
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 improving interpersonal skills will be jeopardized because they cannot spend
time
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 together.
Moreover
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, a plethora of online
classes
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require
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requires
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 sitting for a long
time
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could lead to
lack
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a lack
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 of physical
activities
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activity
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 and
as a result
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 enormous health
problem
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problems
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 would show up.
For example
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, watching tablets, laptops, and phones will damage eyesight in the long run. In conclusion,
technology
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, as a rescuer of
educational
Add an article
the educational
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 system during the pandemic, has a myriad of pros which can help in reducing the cities’ issues,
However
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, the backwards of it is undeniable which comprises health issues. Schools could have a strike balance in online and
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
classes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Structure
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Organize your ideas into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This approach helps in making your arguments more compelling.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and range. Though minor inaccuracies are allowed, consistently demonstrating control over grammatical structures and vocabulary can enhance the overall quality of your essay.
Content
To further strengthen your essay, include a wider variety of examples and evidence. Specific examples help to illustrate your points more vividly and make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence
Consistently use transition words and phrases to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay and help readers follow your line of reasoning more easily.
Balance
You provided a balanced view on the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of digital learning platforms.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay, helping to orient the reader.
Use of Examples
You used relevant examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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