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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals believe public
libraries
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 still have an important
role
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 in society.
However
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, some think they become unnecessary anymore.
This
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 essay will describe both aspects including my perspectives with some illustrated examples. In the present day, public
libraries
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 have played an unimportant
role
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 in society regarding the amount of time
people
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 spend there compared to over the decades. After digital disruption, physical
books
Use synonyms
 have been replaced by electronic
books
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,which considerably facilitate the community's demands with regard to simple accessibility because the public can be accessible to a hundred
books
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 within a few seconds.
Moreover
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,there are advantages to all the users using just a tablet for storing
this
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 kind of book. Those mentioned above might be the main transformations of disruptive technology regarding how to learn. In fact, there are still public
libraries
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 in the city including the center of districts.
Nevertheless
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, most
people
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 do not demand them anymore
while
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 some groups of bookworms are still using them, less than 10% of the percentage of the population. I personally think that the trend of online reading probably increased
due to
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 the development of technology.
On the contrary
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,
people
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 who prefer reading physical
books
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 still demand public
libraries
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, and I am one of them. These communities may prefer the library environment to home or cafes which could considerably encourage individual motives.
Furthermore
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, there are some groups of the population who cannot afford a smart gadget
such
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 as a tablet or iPad.
This
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 is another crucial
role
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 of public
libraries
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 to facilitate them.
To conclude
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, even though fewer
people
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 still are using these spaces for reading and learning. In my opinion,these still play an essential
role
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,particularly some groups mentioned above.
However
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, the government should maintain them for the demanding community who might not be able to afford an electronic gadget.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to directly state the main idea you'll discuss.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios can significantly enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures more to avoid repetition and to keep the reader engaged.
general
Remember to proofread your essay to catch and correct any grammatical errors or typos.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to frame the essay.
task achievement
Good balance discussing both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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