IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often thought that immigration has a major impact on society. The impacts of that statement can both result in
people
Use synonyms
’s agreement and disagreement. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that moving from places can bring you new experiences,
such
Linking Words
 as new work experience, social life, and lots of other reasons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will list why
people
Use synonyms
 choose to migrate from their current environment to another and its consequences. First of all, finding a job can be one of the reasons why individuals migrate from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another. The reasons for
this
Linking Words
 argument might be because their past jobs didn't earn enough attention from their past government.
For instance
Linking Words
, the standard salary for working as a teacher in Indonesia is far behind the standard salary of being one in Japan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the facility in supporting one’s past job can be very limited so they would rather work in another
place
Use synonyms
. Second of all, some countries are in fact better than others.
Hence
Linking Words
, some individuals will choose to move to a more developed
country
Use synonyms
 rather than stay in their own home
place
Use synonyms
. The definition of better condition includes the condition of society, hygiene, common ethics, and others.
This
Linking Words
 argument is supported by data observed by the World Health Organization in 2022, where countries that have a low percentage of hygiene had many of their population move to a
place
Use synonyms
 with a higher percentage of hygiene. Given the above situation, a high level of immigration might have some drawbacks to society. Since
people
Use synonyms
 are migrating to other countries, the origin
country
Use synonyms
 might lack enough population to support its development.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they might lack of sufficient young population that can help to lead the
country
Use synonyms
's growth. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 often choose to migrate because they want to experience a more sustainable life. A highly developed
country
Use synonyms
 is usually the
place
Use synonyms
 where most individuals have the intention to move in, as they can
also
Linking Words
 grow and learn more healthy aspects in their new environment.
This
Linking Words
 high rate of phenomenon might decrease the origin
country
Use synonyms
's development and growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay explicitly addresses all parts of the prompt. While you have provided some reasons for immigration, you could explore additional reasons to give a more complete response.
Task Achievement
Work on integrating more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and fulfill the task requirements better.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic, which you have done well, but enhancing the transitions between them could improve the flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and ensure they are used correctly to improve the overall cohesion of your essay. Examples include connectors, pronouns, and conjunctions.
Task Achievement
Make sure to have a balanced discussion by exploring both reasons for immigration and its consequences. While you mention consequences briefly, expanding on this section would improve the essay's comprehensiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
What to do next:
Look at other essays: