Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
It is often thought that immigration has a major impact on society. The impacts of that statement can both result in
people
’s agreement and disagreement. Some people
believe that moving from places can bring you new experiences, such
as new work experience, social life, and lots of other reasons. This
essay will list why people
choose to migrate from their current environment to another and its consequences.
First of all, finding a job can be one of the reasons why individuals migrate from one country
to another. The reasons for this
argument might be because their past jobs didn't earn enough attention from their past government. For instance
, the standard salary for working as a teacher in Indonesia is far behind the standard salary of being one in Japan. Moreover
, the facility in supporting one’s past job can be very limited so they would rather work in another place
.
Second of all, some countries are in fact better than others. Hence
, some individuals will choose to move to a more developed country
rather than stay in their own home place
. The definition of better condition includes the condition of society, hygiene, common ethics, and others. This
argument is supported by data observed by the World Health Organization in 2022, where countries that have a low percentage of hygiene had many of their population move to a place
with a higher percentage of hygiene.
Given the above situation, a high level of immigration might have some drawbacks to society. Since people
are migrating to other countries, the origin country
might lack enough population to support its development. Furthermore
, they might lack of sufficient young population that can help to lead the country
's growth.
In conclusion, people
often choose to migrate because they want to experience a more sustainable life. A highly developed country
is usually the place
where most individuals have the intention to move in, as they can also
grow and learn more healthy aspects in their new environment. This
high rate of phenomenon might decrease the origin country
's development and growth.Submitted by helma.devina on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay explicitly addresses all parts of the prompt. While you have provided some reasons for immigration, you could explore additional reasons to give a more complete response.
Task Achievement
Work on integrating more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and fulfill the task requirements better.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic, which you have done well, but enhancing the transitions between them could improve the flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and ensure they are used correctly to improve the overall cohesion of your essay. Examples include connectors, pronouns, and conjunctions.
Task Achievement
Make sure to have a balanced discussion by exploring both reasons for immigration and its consequences. While you mention consequences briefly, expanding on this section would improve the essay's comprehensiveness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.