Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

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Most people believe that the best way to notice someone’s ability is by their knowledge,
while
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others state that it can be seen through their actions. In my view, the best way to detect it is by facing different challenges,
such
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as when everything goes wrong or when they are under pressure.
This
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shows a clear example that anybody can keep it cool when things are easy to handle, but you can only be reassured
what
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about what
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they are capable of when
being
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apply
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under stress.
Firstly
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, any person can handle small inconveniences, but the hardest ones show what they can do. When the situations are going smoothly without a chaotic environment, anyone can seem smart. But
on the other hand
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, when there is a very complex problem and a mass panic through our collectives going on, only
then
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we can
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can we
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demonstrate our knowledge.
For instance
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, the classmate
i
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I
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used to have in high school could not keep up when the important sessions occurred
due to
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intense pressure.
As a result
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, even though he was very smart in a calm situation, he was not able to maintain himself when it really mattered.
This
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clearly shows that you cannot measure someone’s knowledge when everything is easy
,
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;
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real abilities are demonstrated under tension.
Secondly
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, intelligence includes
emotions
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emotional
control, which is sometimes ignored when changes appear. In real life, it rarely goes exactly as we plan, and only those who can manage their emotions and find a quick solution are winning.
For instance
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, many successful individuals were not top students in school, but they knew how to react in unplanned events and
real life
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real-life
situations.
Furthermore
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,
this
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demonstrates that in many
cases
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cases,
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students
that
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who
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are not afraid of things going wrong
,
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apply
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tend to have more opportunities and a higher work status. In conclusion,
i
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I
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can affirm that those who demonstrate calm and keep up under different problems are the ones
that
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who
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show real intelligence. In many situations, being successful doesn’t
illustrate
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indicate
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if a person is smart, but
challenges
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the challenges
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that we experience do.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. The task asks about success and intelligence, but your essay talks more about pressure and action.
task response
Keep one clear main idea in each body part, and link it back to your opinion.
task response
Use more exact examples. The classmate example is a bit narrow and not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat in many lines. Try to say one point once, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts are too long or hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the first part and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs well, and the essay is easy to follow in general.
task response
The example about your classmate helps show your point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
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