Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Traditional
medicine
has had a crucial impact on our societies, and our quality of life has been improved by executing cutting-edge diagnosis techniques and treatments
. However
, many people have changed their usual doctor appointments with alternative and non-evidence-based medicine
. I think that both sides have advantages and disadvantages. In this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To start with, 'based-evidence medicine
' is a term that was adopted many centuries ago due to
the necessity of finding explanations and creating procedures in order to alleviate and cure illnesses that caused many deaths, such
as Yellow Fever, Malaria, Influenza, etc. For
this
reason, treatments
that have been invented are based on their specific pathophysiological mechanisms as well as
big-scale research done in the population. For example
, the COVID-19 disease, which started in 2019, had unknown physiological processes that were elucidated, and then
most of the directed treatments
reduced mortality and morbidity, namely mechanical ventilation, corticosteroids, antibiotics, and antivirals.
Conversely
, aboriginal and traditional theories have been supported by our ancestors as well as
they have been inherited generation by generation, many people still believe in treatments
and preventive measures that have no scientific evidence, such
as the importance of avoiding eating sweets before breakfast in order to reduce the contagious risk of gastrointestinal parasites. Besides
, there are other types of techniques that have been proposed, exemplified by Acupuncture. This
is a widely used Chinese tool that has been implemented not only to relieve pain and stress but to cure it. Then
, this
technique has been catapulted into the new generations.
To sum up
, medicine
, either traditional or alternative, has been crucial in the improvement of (the) life expectancy in societies. Then
, both should be recognized and their techniques must be carefully completed.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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task achievement
Consider providing a more explicit argument on whether the shift towards alternative medicines is positive or negative, as the essay tends to describe rather than evaluate.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider adding more specific examples or studies that support your view on alternative medicines. This will enhance the credibility of your claims.
coherence cohesion
For a better flow, try connecting your paragraphs with transition words that not only show the sequence but also the relationship between the ideas presented.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of making general statements. Providing references or citing sources would lend more credibility to your assertions about traditional and alternative medicines.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in understanding.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced the topic and outlined the scope of the discussion, making your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by acknowledging the merits and drawbacks of both traditional and alternative medicines, reflecting an ability to engage with complex ideas.