In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #children #food #school #canteens #fight

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

due to

Linking Words

bad eating habits, more and more children are fat than before. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem, fast

food

Use synonyms

should be forbidden.

While

Linking Words

I agree with the idea of banning

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

from canteens,

Change the capitalization

show examples

do believe that children need to

be limited

Wrong verb form

limit

show examples

their intake of

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

outside

school

Use synonyms

at the same time. On the one hand, enforcing some strict regulations on selling fast

food

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

could benefit

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

teenagers. By limiting poor dishes, young people could be encouraged to eat more healthy

food

Use synonyms

and have a better shape.

For example

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

used to struggle with obesity in primary

school

Use synonyms

, because of the habit of eating sandwiches.

However

Linking Words

, my

school

Use synonyms

forbade any type of fast

food

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

lost about 10 pounds.

Thus

Linking Words

, forbidding the expenditure on

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

could make youngers a good shape with better health.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, by not allowing

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

to be sold in

school

Use synonyms

, students could tend to have more interest in

eat

Change the verb form

eating

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

outside.

As a result

Linking Words

, the regulation would even exacerbate the situation.

For example

Linking Words

, an investigation was taken place related to

this

Linking Words

topic in which 100 kids were examined at a particular educational institution. By

this

Linking Words

banishment, more students gained more weight because of eating fast

food

Use synonyms

outside.

Therefore

Linking Words

, forbidding the sale of

junk

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

by government authorities is not

Change the article

show examples

effective strategy. In conclusion, some people argue that imposing rules to ban selling fast

food

Use synonyms

in schools is crucial for youngsters to keep healthy,

whereas

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can't completely stop them from eating fast

food

Use synonyms

since they can eat outside.

Submitted by 2631272260 on Tue May 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While you've structured your essay well, refining the introduction to more clearly state your position could enhance clarity.

Evidence

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. While you've included an example from your own experience, incorporating additional data or studies could strengthen your points.

Language

Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging.

Grammar

Be mindful of grammatical errors and typos. Simple mistakes can be avoided through careful proofreading.

Argument

The essay successfully addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Example

Effective use of a personal example to illustrate your point adds a unique perspective to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

prevalence
obesity
correlation
consumption
unhealthy food options
promote
eating habits
educational programs
nutrition
effectiveness
resistance
logistical issues
enforcing
holistic approach
physical activity
parental guidance
safeguarding

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The position of women in society has indeed changed significantly over the past two decades, with an increasing number of married women joining the workforce. This shift has sparked a debate about its impact on young people, particularly concerning issues like juvenile delinquency. While some argue that the absence of mothers at home contributes to these problems, I believe this viewpoint is overly simplistic and does not consider other important factors.
6.5
band
Juvenile deliquency is on rise today. in our modern times , more and more adolescents are commiting crime. what are the possible reasons? is there any solution to this problem?
In our modern-day society, increasing adolescent crime has become a severe social problem that needs to be tackled. Some people might say that many sectors in our society are responsible for this undesirable phenomenon. Then, what might be the reasonable approaches to deal with these young offenders?
7.5
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent times, a growing number of parents are opting to homeschool their children rather than enrolling them in traditional schools. While this trend presents certain advantages, it also carries significant drawbacks.
6.5
band
Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Employees of some companies must wear their uniforms all the time. The main advantages of this are that wearing uniforms can be a source for advertising their products and helps to bring a sense of belonging, while the disadvantages are that wearing inappropriate clothing for work and hampering employee’s performance.
6
band
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
There is an increasing number of music genres in today’s society. This essay will discuss why listening to them is essential for us and it will then explain why traditional melodic creations are more important than the international ones known worldwide.

In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Juvenile deliquency is on rise today. in our modern times , more and more adolescents are commiting crime. what are the possible reasons? is there any solution to this problem?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?