IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Rural populations are migrating to cities worldwide, leading to a decrease in the countryside's population.
While
this
 trend has some positive aspects, I believe it is likely to give rise to significant challenges that must be carefully addressed. On the positive side, the movement of people to urban areas can result in several benefits. With
this
 shift, people bring their skills, talents, and the workforce, thereby contributing to expanding industries and creating job opportunities.
This
 influx of human capital can increase productivity, innovation, and
overall
 prosperity for migrants and urban regions.
However
,
this
 rapid migration to cities can
also
 present significant challenges that must not be overlooked. One of the primary concerns is the strain it places on urban infrastructure and resources
due to
 cities experiencing population growth. The increased demand for housing, transportation, and basic utilities can lead to housing shortages, traffic congestion, and overburdened public services, exacerbating issues of inadequate living conditions for the citizens.
Moreover
, urbanization can contribute to the neglect of agricultural lands, which, in turn, affects the
overall
 economy and food security. In fact, when talented individuals, including skilled farmers and other professionals, leave rural areas, agricultural productivity and innovation may decrease, which affects food production and farming sustainability in the long run. In conclusion,
while
 urbanization offers opportunities for economic growth, job creation, and innovation, it
also
 presents significant challenges. I believe
this
 trend will likely cause more harm than good because of its potential negative impacts on urban infrastructure and living conditions.
Moreover
, the neglect of rural areas and a possible brain drain may negatively influence the countryside.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content Depth
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points, especially when discussing the negative impacts of rural to urban migration.
Language Fluency
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
Structure
You've clearly introduced and concluded your essay, effectively framing your argument.
Content Organization
Excellent job in maintaining a logical flow of ideas and adequately supporting your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: