Students should pay the full cost their own study, because universities education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree disagree?

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People have different viewpoints about the cost of university education which is a controversial discussion point.
This
writer argues that they should pay the full cost on their own because it will benefit students. It is vital to understand that gaining higher-level qualifications is the key to a successful career. Student should concentrate on their studies and transition from high school to university without distraction whilst maintaining focus on their academic goal, which they can benefit from in the future. Take the example of the architect, who has to study for several years at universities, but once graduates can enjoy a well-respected and
highly paid
Add a hyphen
highly-paid
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job. It would not be possible to do
this
without the necessary
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
;
therefore
, young people should look at the bigger picture when considering whether to work after leaving school. It should
also
be considered that students who have recently left for school are likely to be employed in low and unsociable hours which can be stressful, and only receive a basic salary in return.
For instance
, an 18-year-old is employed in a 24-hour convenience store, and works through the night so does not have the opportunity to spend time on their vital purpose. In conclusion, it is crucial that young people reserve their energy and focus on their studies now, they can enjoy a higher salary at a later stage once they have graduated.
Therefore
,
this
essay has shown the best choice is to start work upon the successful completion of a university course.

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task response
Consider providing a more balanced argument by addressing the counterpoints to your main arguments. Acknowledging the benefits of university education for society could strengthen your essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea.
task response
Make sure to directly address the prompt's question regarding whether students should pay the full cost of their studies, clearly stating your position and reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas more clearly, which can help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps readers follow your argument.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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