Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. What are the primary causes of the quality in life? What solutions can you suggest to improve the quality in life?
In
this
contemporary world, life in urban areas in terms of quality
is decreasing. In my opinion, increasing in
the number of vehicular Change preposition
apply
transportation
using the roads leads to this
problem
. However
, by investing in Public Transportation
, this
issue can be tackle
Change the verb form
be tackled
with
.
One of the major reasons for Change preposition
apply
such
a problem
is the increase in the number of vehicles on the road. All the transportation
sources run by the usage of fossil fuels such
as coal and other natural resources that release toxic gases while
burning which when combined with air spike the quality
of air to a great extent. As a result
, living beings are vulnerable to health ailments such
as cancer and other cardiovascular diseases. Moreover
, it lead
to increased congestion, especially during peak hours. Change the verb form
leads
This
congestion results in longer commute times and inefficiencies in transportation
systems.For example
, a
research Correct article usage
apply
show
that around 45% of people Change the form of the verb
shows
was
affected by Change the verb form
were
the
vehiclesCorrect article usage
apply
increasing
.
Taking the Verb problem
apply
transportation
invesment
, Correct your spelling
investment
giving
Correct word choice
and giving
its
more funding will help the Correct pronoun usage
it
governments
control and deal with the difficulty which Fix the agreement mistake
government
cause
the Change the verb form
causes
decreasing
in life Replace the word
decrease
quality
. What i
mean is, enhancing public Change the capitalization
I
transportation
networks by expanding routes, increasing frequency, and improving service quality
. This
will encourage more people to use public transport instead
of relying on private vehicles. In Vietnam, the public bus system is now being deployed in order to help the transportation
infracstructures
, Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
also
reduce pressure on governments.
In conclusion, the increase in traffic is a difficult problem
related to the decline in quality
of life in some large cities. However
, developing and investing in transportation
infrastructure is considered a practical solution to this
problem
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Specific examples
Work on diversifying your examples and evidence to support your points more comprehensively. Providing more varied examples could enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
Broadening content
Consider exploring a wider range of causes and solutions to the problem. This would offer a more holistic view of the issue and present you as more knowledgeable on the topic.
Transitions
Use transitional phrases to better link your paragraphs and ideas. This will help improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments easier to follow.
Conclusion refinement
Review and refine your conclusion to more clearly reflect a summary of your main points and the proposed solutions. Make sure it encapsulates your essay's message effectively.
Structure
You've made a clear argument with a defined structure, which is commendable.
Addressing the prompt
Identifying specific issues like increased vehicular traffic and proposing public transportation as a solutions is a good approach to the task.
Introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, which is a strong feature of your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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