IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. What are the primary causes of the quality in life? What solutions can you suggest to improve the quality in life?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, life in urban areas in terms of
quality
Use synonyms
 is decreasing. In my opinion, increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of vehicular
transportation
Use synonyms
 using the roads leads to
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, by investing in Public
Transportation
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 issue can
be tackle
Change the verb form
be tackled
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. One of the major reasons for
such
Linking Words
 a
problem
Use synonyms
 is the increase in the number of vehicles on the road. All the
transportation
Use synonyms
 sources run by the usage of fossil fuels
such
Linking Words
 as coal and other natural resources that release toxic gases
while
Linking Words
 burning which when combined with air spike the
quality
Use synonyms
 of air to a great extent.
As a result
Linking Words
, living beings are vulnerable to health ailments
such
Linking Words
 as cancer and other cardiovascular diseases.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to increased congestion, especially during peak hours.
This
Linking Words
 congestion results in longer commute times and inefficiencies in
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
show
Change the form of the verb
shows
show examples
 that around 45% of people
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 affected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles
increasing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. Taking the
transportation
Use synonyms
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
,
giving
Correct word choice
and giving
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 more funding will help the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
 control and deal with the difficulty which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 the
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in life
quality
Use synonyms
. What
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean is, enhancing public
transportation
Use synonyms
 networks by expanding routes, increasing frequency, and improving service
quality
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will encourage more people to use public transport
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on private vehicles. In Vietnam, the public bus system is now being deployed in order to help the
transportation
Use synonyms
infracstructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
,
also
Linking Words
 reduce pressure on governments. In conclusion, the increase in traffic is a difficult
problem
Use synonyms
 related to the decline in
quality
Use synonyms
 of life in some large cities.
However
Linking Words
, developing and investing in
transportation
Use synonyms
 infrastructure is considered a practical solution to
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Specific examples
Work on diversifying your examples and evidence to support your points more comprehensively. Providing more varied examples could enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
Broadening content
Consider exploring a wider range of causes and solutions to the problem. This would offer a more holistic view of the issue and present you as more knowledgeable on the topic.
Transitions
Use transitional phrases to better link your paragraphs and ideas. This will help improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments easier to follow.
Conclusion refinement
Review and refine your conclusion to more clearly reflect a summary of your main points and the proposed solutions. Make sure it encapsulates your essay's message effectively.
Structure
You've made a clear argument with a defined structure, which is commendable.
Addressing the prompt
Identifying specific issues like increased vehicular traffic and proposing public transportation as a solutions is a good approach to the task.
Introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, which is a strong feature of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Strained resources
  • Commute times
  • Economic stress
  • Community events
  • Affordable housing
  • Environmental regulations
  • Green spaces
  • Urban environments
  • Socialize
  • Foster
  • Tackle
  • Strategies
  • Implementing
  • Pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: