Topic: Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's ever-progressing era, some individuals
belief
that they can gain more benefits in education Replace the word
believe
throughout
paying for the full cost of their Change preposition
by
studying
. Fix the agreement mistake
studies
This
essay will showcase the reasons why the writer disagree
with the argument above.
It must be understood that Change the verb form
disagrees
the
financial aid is the trivial factor Correct article usage
apply
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
the
changing Correct article usage
apply
human's
life more and more Change noun form
human
comfortable
than before. Change the word
comfortably
Especially
, they will have Rephrase
In particular
to
access to tertiary education and Fix the infinitive
apply
getting
an opportunity to Wrong verb form
get
have securing
Wrong verb form
secure
job
so that the rate of unemployment is extremely low. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
This
will undoubtedly go some way towards reducing crime as the croot
cause of crime is a lack of employment and job opportunities. Correct your spelling
root
For instance
, in many recent years, with the speed of urbanization very quickly, the higher college
enrollment rate is, the lower Correct article usage
the college
crime
rates are.
Correct article usage
the crime
Additionally
, if the financial burden that undergraduates have to shoulder is eased, they can divert more effort and time to social and community projects that universities are frequently associated with. Take Vietnam as a realistic example, most colleges have own
charity clubs to support students who have poor Correct pronoun usage
their own
condition
and difficult Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
finance
in disaster-prone Fix the agreement mistake
finances
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
repair
and Wrong verb form
repairing
renovate
their houses.
In conclusion, assistant public subsidies for superior education studies Wrong verb form
renovating
does
not only Unnecessary verb
apply
makes
students themselves a better service but Change the verb form
make
also
the public thanks to the decline in criminal activities.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction more clearly outlines your position on the topic. Starting with a stronger thesis statement will make your argument clearer from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention urbanization and Vietnam, more detailed examples or statistics could make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs more effectively by stating the main idea at the beginning of each paragraph and then supporting it with details and examples. This will improve the coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Look out for minor grammatical errors and areas where more precise vocabulary could be used. This will enhance the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have effectively engaged with the topic and provided relevant arguments against the notion that students should pay the full cost of their education.
Task Achievement
Nice use of an example to support your point about the benefits of university education, especially mentioning the impact on crime rates and the role of charity clubs in Vietnam.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your argument and reinforcing your stance against the idea that students should bear the full cost of their education.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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