In many countries, a small number of people earn extremly high salaries.Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate about the high wages of
little
amount of workers. Some say it is for the benefit of their community Add an article
a little
the little
while
other
argue that it is the authority's duty to balance salaries Fix the agreement mistake
others
in
Change preposition
on
particular
scale. In Add an article
a particular
this
essay
I'm going to discuss both views and draw my opinion in the end.
On the one hand, the reason behind several individuals have raised incomes is because they have Add a comma
essay,
occupation
of high risk and they have to perform Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
a
Correct article usage
apply
life threatening
missions. Add a hyphen
life-threatening
For instance
. Firefighters, Those employees suffer their
life for extinguishing fire Change preposition
for their
as well as
rescue
locals from the flame. That's why they are paid much more than others in order to encourage them Replace the word
rescuing
keep
going with the challenges they might face including long working hours night shifts Add the particle
to keep
furthermore
being away from their families and homes. Doing such
humanitarian work must be appreciated by increasing their earnings to keep serving their society with
Change preposition
in
good
manner.
Correct article usage
a good
On the other hand
, many civilians believe that government
should provide equality in payment among its citizens, by performing Correct article usage
the government
this
principle it's can be assured no differences between country members all will have the same rights No one is richer or poorer than anyone. The majority will get the same scale of money whether they worked hard or not. The living standard would be the same but the efforts would be changing however
it's
might lead to hatred among the community members.
In conclusion, I believe it would be fair enough to give certain people bonus gainings for living to ensure their Unnecessary verb
it
long term
sustainability at specific harmful duties.Add a hyphen
long-term
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Introduction & Conclusion
You've done a good job introducing the topic and providing a conclusion, emphasizing the importance of both elements in your essay. This approach strengthens your argument's coherence and helps in guiding the reader through your discussion.
Supporting Examples
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your points. While mentioning firefighters is a good start, expanding on this with additional examples or data would provide more robust support for your arguments.
Balanced Discussion
Ensure a balanced discussion by equally developing both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion. Ensure that each viewpoint is explored with equal depth and consideration.
Paragraph Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly by using topic sentences that directly relate to the question. This will help in making your argument more coherent and easier for the reader to follow.
Grammar & Accuracy
Be mindful of minor inaccuracies and grammar issues. While these do not significantly impact the overall understanding, improving on these would make your writing more polished and professional.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, indicating a good understanding of how to structure an argument effectively.
Relevant Example
You've chosen a relevant example (firefighters) to illustrate your point, showing an ability to link your argument to real-world applications.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.