These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, more and more fathers stay home to take care of their children whilst the mother is at work. Many reasons could explain

this

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positive development.

To begin

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this

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phenomenon could be explained by the phenomenal advancement in women’s rights. Women have more freedom than ever before, and in front of the law, they are equal to men.

However

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, there was still progress to be made as a society.

For instance

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, mothers are still expected to stay at home and clean the house,

while

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the man is working. Fortunately, a lot of new laws were passed in order to change

this

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situation. Now, workers are allowed to take paid leave in order to take care of their newborn baby, no matter the gender, which leads to an equal share of dads leaving their office for their children.

This

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leads to many positive outcomes.

Firstly

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, women are now not considered a burden which has to go back to their homes because of their children.

Secondly

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, young couples are seeing that having a baby will not disadvantage them in the workplace. It could ultimately be a way of fighting against the low fertility rate in our country.

Finally

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, it shows citizens the importance of democratic values, by,

for example

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, showing that both genders are equally important to society.

To conclude

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, many reasons explain the fact that dads are staying home, the most important being new laws that were passed.

This

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caused a positive effect, including a more inclusive and more aware society.

santos_dij

May 8, 2024

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You explain the reasons well, but your view on why it is positive needs a bit more depth.

task response

Use more clear and real examples. The essay has ideas, but it needs one or two more specific cases to make them stronger.

task response

Some ideas are good but not fully developed. Add one more sentence to explain how each point leads to a positive result.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs. Keep this clear order.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with more care. Words like 'however' and 'for instance' should fit the exact meaning of the sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences connect well, but a few jumps between ideas feel a bit fast. Add short linking lines between main points.

task response

You answer both the reason part and the opinion part, so the essay fits the task well.

task response

Your main view is clear from the start: you think this is a positive change.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear start, body, and end, which helps the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Most paragraphs stay on one main idea, and this gives the essay good basic flow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion