These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?
It often happens that
people
work abroad, taking their family with them. There are more benefits to the development of a family Use synonyms
relationship
than disadvantages, for they are more tolerant of diverse perspectives Use synonyms
although
the difficulty in adapting to different environments can harm the Linking Words
relationship
.
On the one hand, there are more advantages for those who settle in a foreign country with their family since a family bond would be tighter when they are encouraged to accept various ideas. Use synonyms
In other words
, they are no longer concerned about a certain expectation or traditional thought, which allows them to seek the happiness and well-being of their family members. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
people
who move to Western countries will be happier, where Use synonyms
people
are treated more equally than in Japan, a conservative nation with males holding dominant power. Use synonyms
Consequently
, staying in a foreign country expands their viewpoints, allowing them to enjoy various lifestyles, and promoting a more honest Linking Words
relationship
within a family.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, moving to a foreign nation can be detrimental to the Linking Words
relationship
of a family as they experience difficulties in adapting to different surroundings. Indeed, their language barrier often prevents them from communicating smoothly with native Use synonyms
people
, making them stressed in daily life. Use synonyms
For example
, children often demonstrate violent behaviours to their parents Linking Words
due to
the growing sense of frustration and isolation they experience at school as they are not able to express themselves in other tongues. Linking Words
Thus
, a family Linking Words
relationship
often gets worse since they move to other countries without their wills and parents tend to underestimate various hurdles their family members come across in life.
In conclusion, bringing family members to foreign countries has more advantages because it allows them to experience diverse cultures where they enjoy more freedom without being restricted to traditional ideas. Use synonyms
However
, a language barrier can make them isolated, making it more difficult for them to express themselves in other nations, leading to the collapse of their relationships.Linking Words
Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses both sides of the issue, adding a few more relevant examples could further strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the writer's stance, which makes it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showing a clear progression of ideas.
task achievement
The author provides a balanced view on the benefits and disadvantages of moving abroad with family, contributing to a well-rounded discussion.
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