In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Expectancy of life has increased dramatically during the
last
decades as well as
there are more prevalent chronic diseases. For
this
reason, many scientists argue that longevity has more drawbacks, however
, many others believe that an ageing population represents wisdom. From my perspective, I consider that demerits outweigh merits, and in this
essay, I explain in detail my reasons.
To start with, ageing is a natural process that every human has to face. It is not only about wrinkles or the deterioration of some physical attributes but also
about biological mechanisms because body cells are under chronic stress and their intrinsic capacity for survival decreases. Therefore
, human functionality falls gradually until simple tasks have to be supported by relatives or care workers. For example
, dementia, which is exemplified by Alzheimer’s disease or frontotemporal dementia, has reached its acme during the last
century. Besides
, nowadays chronic illnesses, namely primary hypertension, diabetes, and chronic renal disease, have shown more devastating consequences that seriously affect the quality of life.
Additionally
, retirement policies are highly recognized worldwide, however
, they rely on the financial requirements that should be completed by people who are economically active. During the last
years
, the rate of ageing has been increasing, Correct quantifier usage
few years
however
, the rate of natality has decreased steadily. As a consequence
of this
, in the near future, the economic field might collapse due to
the lack of resources to supply pensioners. For example
, in Colombia, the system has not been paid by workers since approximately 10 years ago, then
most elderly people have not received their payments, and there are not enough vacancies to employ them.
To sum up
, there are more disadvantages than benefits related to longer lives and ancient people. However
, social, political, cultural, and governmental issues should be taken into account.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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sentence variety
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic capability. While your essay is well-structured, incorporating a wider range of complex sentences could make your argument even more compelling.
task response balance
Make sure to provide a balanced view when the question asks to 'to what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?' While you've argued that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, integrating a clear comparison in each paragraph could strengthen your argument and adhere more closely to the task.
vocabulary accuracy
Be cautious with topic-specific vocabulary and make sure to use it accurately. Terms like 'ancient people' could be replaced with more appropriate terms such as 'the elderly' or 'older adults' to convey your ideas more precisely.
essay structure
Your essay demonstrates a strong structure, with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your arguments.
use of examples
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coherence and cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay are commendable, as you logically connect ideas and paragraphs with appropriate transitional phrases, aiding in the overall flow of the text.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
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- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
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