IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?

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Some believe that environmental issues should be solved on an international level,
while
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 others argue everyone should be responsible for protecting the environment individually. In my opinion, both aforementioned statements are equally crucial to preserve our globe from various ecological
problems
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 that currently exist.
Firstly
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, issues that directly influence the environment are common threads that concern all nations and countries across the world.
Therefore
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, cooperation of all authorities is the first and foremost factor to make all measures more effective. Governments should take all steps unanimously in order to achieve the desired outcomes.
For example
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, there are certain
problems
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 that can only be tackled with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
direct government interventions
such
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 as limiting the amount of
emmision
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 released to
air
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the air
show examples
 by large companies
,
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apply
show examples
 or imposing additional tax charges. Enacting those regulations and laws by many countries will restrain many businesses' harmful activities and encourage them to devise methods with the least detrimental impacts.
Secondly
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, an individual approach is
also
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 equally vital to deal with the factors that deteriorate the ecological situation.
People
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 have
same
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the same
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 obligations to protect
environment
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the environment
show examples
 as governments. If all
people
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 individually become aware of the consequences of their actions that directly damage ecology, all related
problems
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 can be tackled more easily and smoothly.
For instance
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, there are certain matters that
people
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 can be a little more attentive
such
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 as
seperating
Correct your spelling
separating
 their rubbish into categories or avoiding the usage of plastic materials completely. Those measures might
be seem
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seem
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 small,
however
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, they can be the real game-changers.
To conclude
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, taking
solely
Correct article usage
a solely
show examples
 global approach is not enough to save our planet
such
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 as enacting laws and regulations on those who pollute the air or increasing the tax charge.
People
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also
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 need to be educated about the possible outcomes of their reckless actions and they should be involved in a common strategy to eradicate those environmental
problems
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 entirely.

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument regarding whether environmental issues should be tackled internationally or domestically, but it could benefit from a more nuanced analysis of the interdependence between global policies and individual actions. You might also explain any practical examples or current events that show this interdependence.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammar and lexical errors, such as 'emmision' instead of 'emission' and 'seperating' instead of 'separating.' These minor errors can distract the reader and should be corrected for a more polished essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introductory paragraph effectively sets up the debate and hints at your balanced stance, which is good for a coherent argument.
task achievement
You provide clear and relevant examples like limiting emissions and the role of individual responsibility, which demonstrate your points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international collaboration
  • global cooperation
  • climate change
  • deforestation
  • water scarcity
  • pollution
  • shared resources
  • knowledge exchange
  • unified policies
  • local governments
  • communities
  • regional challenges
  • local regulations
  • tailoring solutions
  • immediate change
  • visible change
  • balance of approaches
  • domestic policies
  • frameworks
  • local adaptation
  • success stories
  • global actions
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