Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?
Some believe that environmental issues should be solved on an international level,
while
others argue everyone should be responsible for protecting the environment individually. In my opinion, both aforementioned statements are equally crucial to preserve our globe from various ecological problems
that currently exist.
Firstly
, issues that directly influence the environment are common threads that concern all nations and countries across the world. Therefore
, cooperation of all authorities is the first and foremost factor to make all measures more effective. Governments should take all steps unanimously in order to achieve the desired outcomes. For example
, there are certain problems
that can only be tackled with the
direct government interventions Correct article usage
apply
such
as limiting the amount of emmision
released to Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
air
by large companiesAdd an article
the air
,
or imposing additional tax charges. Enacting those regulations and laws by many countries will restrain many businesses' harmful activities and encourage them to devise methods with the least detrimental impacts.
Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, an individual approach is also
equally vital to deal with the factors that deteriorate the ecological situation. People
have same
obligations to protect Correct article usage
the same
environment
as governments. If all Add an article
the environment
people
individually become aware of the consequences of their actions that directly damage ecology, all related problems
can be tackled more easily and smoothly. For instance
, there are certain matters that people
can be a little more attentive such
as seperating
their rubbish into categories or avoiding the usage of plastic materials completely. Those measures might Correct your spelling
separating
be seem
small, Change the verb form
seem
however
, they can be the real game-changers.
To conclude
, taking solely
global approach is not enough to save our planet Correct article usage
a solely
such
as enacting laws and regulations on those who pollute the air or increasing the tax charge. People
also
need to be educated about the possible outcomes of their reckless actions and they should be involved in a common strategy to eradicate those environmental problems
entirely.Submitted by Narmin on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument regarding whether environmental issues should be tackled internationally or domestically, but it could benefit from a more nuanced analysis of the interdependence between global policies and individual actions. You might also explain any practical examples or current events that show this interdependence.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammar and lexical errors, such as 'emmision' instead of 'emission' and 'seperating' instead of 'separating.' These minor errors can distract the reader and should be corrected for a more polished essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introductory paragraph effectively sets up the debate and hints at your balanced stance, which is good for a coherent argument.
task achievement
You provide clear and relevant examples like limiting emissions and the role of individual responsibility, which demonstrate your points well.