Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Development is a prominent factor for
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
growth. A group of people opine that guardians
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a
mojor
Correct your spelling
major
role
in
children
whereas
others believe that broadcasting communication has far more impact.
This
essay will consider both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments and
then
provide my perspective which says both parts have a
role
to play. On the one
hand
, the main reason
believing
Verb problem
for belief
show examples
is that
parents
are best placed to model
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
appropriate behaviour. To illustrate,
children
who live in close proximity to
parents
are directly exposed to the behaviour exhibited by those
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
they admire the most.
For example
,
Children
spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time with their caregivers and
this
prove
Change the verb form
proves
show examples
the relationship they build with their community.
Secondly
, It is
also
possible to say that youngsters learn the main budgetary skills from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
which are essential for their survival as adults. Through observation, juveniles will
spend
Verb problem
find
show examples
appropriate ways to spend and save money
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which will guide them
througout thier
Correct your spelling
throughout their
future lives.
On the other
hand
, it is
also
opposed that muti-media
such
as
cellularphone
Correct your spelling
cellular phone
and television directly impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
behaviour.
For Instance
, watching war movies inspires and vigorously
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
violence in offsprings. The proof is evident around us as increased displays of gratuitous violence
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to go
hand
in
hand
with increased rates of physical crimes being committed by young adults.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
clothes and
jewelleries
Change the wording
jewellery
pieces of jewellery
show examples
also
changed.
For Instance
,
children
always pressure
parents
to buy
clothig
Correct your spelling
clothes
displaying their superheroes which is a clear demonstration of how influential the advent of
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
on
Add a missing verb
is on
show examples
young people. In a nutshell, I believe that both
parents
and
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
have a profound
role
in
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Although
parents
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a prominent
role
in developing
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
character at their young stage, at some point isolation brings the influence of
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
on
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
.
Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on

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Structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity and make the essay easier to follow.
Linking
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas and improve the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource
Review the accuracy of word choice and consider the precision of vocabulary to improve clarity and appropriacy.
Grammar and Spelling
Pay attention to grammatical mistakes and spelling errors to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Introduction
Effective introduction of the topic and a clear statement of your opinion.
Balanced Argument
Good balance discussing both viewpoints before stating your own opinion, allowing for a comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Use of Examples
Provision of examples to support arguments, helping to illustrate your points more effectively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • mimic behavior
  • worldviews
  • moral frameworks
  • exposure
  • social interactions
  • educational pursuits
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • pervasive influence
  • digital technology
  • perceptions
  • attitudes
  • behaviors
  • information dissemination
  • diverse perspectives
  • cultures
  • broader understanding
  • peer influence
  • trends
  • social media platforms
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