Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. September 2024 Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #jobs #future #september

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whether youngsters ought to opt for the

jobs

Use synonyms

that they want or they have to be more concerned about the

future

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, has become a matter of discussion among

people

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. Not only both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

notions will be discussed below but my perspective which is in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of the former side will

also

Linking Words

be discussed. On one side, the prime reason why

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

community have to career that they are looking for is career satisfaction. To elaborate, when individuals work in a field that they enjoy, they are more likely to be motivated, work hard and keep focus on their target.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the youngster will be more passionate regarding their work

as a result

Linking Words

they can achieve long-term success and live their life happily.

For example

Linking Words

,a report published by "The Times of India" in 2023 and their result showed that

people

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are happier and have minimum stress, are working in fields they like even, they are making less money from others. on the other side, the prime reason why youngster have to think about their

future

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while

Linking Words

choosing a

job

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job

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security. To elucidate, In the contemporary era, many

people

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start doing a

job

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by following their

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

without thinking about constant income,

however

Linking Words

, sometimes those

jobs

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are not for long and they will be stressed.

For example

Linking Words

, youngster have to choose a field, from where they can make a stable

incomes

Correct the article-noun agreement

income

show examples

, can help their families and achieve financial independence.

Jobs

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such

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as chef,healthcare and technology there sector are always in demand, by choosing from them. they can have a happy life. In my opinion , a balanced approach is the best solution for young

people

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can pursue their careers with their interests and strengths, but they have to

also

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consider market demand and the

future

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of the

job

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. In conclusion,

although

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youngsters are more likely to be inclined towards

jobs

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that they want, they have to think about their

future

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and they would like to start.

Submitted by gurdeepssd2021 on Tue Jan 21 2025

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task achievement

To enhance Task Achievement, provide a clearer definition and analysis of the perspectives, ensuring both are explored with equal depth. This will help in providing a more balanced view before offering a personal opinion.

coherence cohesion

For improved Coherence and Cohesion, consider better transitions between paragraph ideas. Clearly signposting different arguments can make your essay flow more naturally, enhancing logical progression.

introduction conclusion present

The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear standpoint, making it easy for the reader to understand the writer's perspective.

task achievement

The inclusion of a relevant example from a credible source (The Times of India) strengthens the argument provided and demonstrates the ability to substantiate points with evidence.

introduction conclusion present

The essay concludes effectively, summarizing the main points while reiterating the writer's opinion, providing a neat closure to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

326 words

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Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. September 2024 Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The health benefits of physical exercise are well-known. Despites this, a lot of people do not exrcise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise more often?

Many people aim to achieve a balance between their work and lines,but few people achieve it. What are the causes of this? How to overcome this problem?

some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. what are the reasons for this behaviour? what actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

The best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.