IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The only way to reduce drug is to legalise the substances and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#drug #legalise #substances #control #statements
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Overall
, I agree with the statement because in order to
track
 the consumption of
drugs
 it is the best way to make them legal because if the sale of
drugs
 is illegal
then
 it is really hard to keep them under control. The first and foremost reason to support my argument is that, when
drugs
 become legal,
then
 a limit can be imposed on their transportation. At the moment,
drugs
 are transported across borders in an illegal way, and it is almost impossible to
track
 them because drug dealers are able to send them in huge quantities, and police do not have any records. But, if it is legalised
then
 the border securities can set limits for import and export, and
this
 will help them to maintain legal data, and in
this
 way, illegal transportation would not happen. Apart from that, many countries are now making the intake of
drugs
 legal,
this
 is only to impose a certain limit on its purchase. People around the world are dying because of overdoses of
drugs
, and police cannot do anything as they do not have any record of purchase, but by making it legal it would be easy for them to set a cap on purchases
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that an individual cannot buy any drug in large quantities.
For example
, Canada has taken the initiative recently and made
drugs
 legal in their country in order to
track
 their purchase and buyers, and
also
 set a limit to buy for one person. In conclusion, with the decision to make various
drugs
 legalised in different countries, nations would be able to control their import and export.
Also
,
this
 action would assist them in tracking
track
 sales of
drugs
 and impose caps wherever necessary
Submitted by harleenarora620 on

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task achievement
To fully address the task, ensure your argument covers a broader range of considerations beyond legal control, including societal and health implications.
task achievement
Enhance your argument by addressing the counterpoints to provide a more balanced view and show a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, giving your essay a smoother flow.
task achievement
Back your points with more concrete examples or data where possible, to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider a more detailed introduction and conclusion, touching on the key points of your argument and summarizing your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively used a logical structure to organize your main points.
task achievement
Your argument benefits from the inclusion of relevant examples, particularly mentioning Canada's approach to drug legalization.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • legalize
  • regulation
  • drug cartels
  • detrimental
  • societal impacts
  • normalize
  • tax revenue
  • public health initiatives
  • decriminalization
  • overdoses
  • HIV infection rates
  • burden on healthcare
  • panacea
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