Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grown up. Dicuss both views and give your own opinion

Whether or not letting
children
watch television will have detrimental effects on their health is still a controversial argument. The writer believes that it will cause a sense of
addiction
and a lack of general behaviours in the young. It must be acknowledged that
addiction
can be effortlessly experienced in
children
if they are exposed to addictive recreational activities
such
as watching TV and surfing the Internet for a long period of time.
Furthermore
, if
this
type of
addiction
is not treated properly, our offspring will start to undergo hallucinations and be unable to differentiate between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality and the visual world.
Therefore
, they are vulnerable to inappropriate content that appears widely on the Internet, and in the worst scenario, causes inevitable consequences.
Additionally
,
children
who are addicted to technological products may find it difficult to reconcile with their peers. Primarily because of disagreement in perception and cognition.
This
will cause a sense of isolation and disconnection
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
society, thereby, leading to stubbornness and naughtiness as a way to draw other people’s attention to those
children
.
Furthermore
,
this
somewhat behaviours
also
affect negatively
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
’s stage of maturity.
However
, some parents contend that educational programs on
televion
Correct your spelling
television
are a good source of education for
children
to accumulate knowledge and enhance their practical skills,
for instance
, communication and presentation.
This
is perhaps true to some extent but it must be understood that
besides
educational programs, there are a variety of toxin programs that can easily poison your
children
if not interfered with at the right time.
Therefore
, it’s still a loss compared to other aspects. Taking all points into conclusion. Exposure to television
in particular
or technological devices, in general, can have adverse impacts on the development of
children
, often leading to bad behaviours and
addiction
.
Hence
, parents should set boundaries for their
children
in order to avoid the worst circumstances.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs, ensuring that each main point flows logically into the next for improved coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Attempt to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points; this strengthens your argument and enhances your task response score.
task achievement
Try to further clarify your ideas, and avoid redundancy in your sentences. Ensuring that each sentence conveys a clear and distinct point will improve both clarity and comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing your main arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives of the issue, demonstrating a balanced approach and completing the task requirements sufficiently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proponents
  • opponents
  • passive behavior
  • active play
  • inappropriate content
  • detrimental
  • excessive screen time
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • irregular sleep patterns
  • educational tool
  • informative and entertaining
  • social values
  • perseverance
  • broaden their understanding
  • media consumption
  • active engagement
  • educational value
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