Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Several people affirm that presently individuals rely more on each other
while
others believe in the opposite. Due to
this
writer’s experience, it is more advisable to become independent owing to the significant effects this
trait has on self-development despite those who assume that the contrast aids people’s soft skills.
It is crucial to understand that self-reliance promotes self-development in various ways. By solving issues on their own, gradually society can achieve determination and versatile problem-solving ability
. Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
In addition
, this
promotion occurs at a rapid speed owing to improved multitasking performance as well as
reinforced resilience. Consequently
, those who own self-determination should receive admiration and respect from pioneers, which contribute to stable motivation that leads to success.
On the other hand
, managing life individually triggers numerous drawbacks. In detail, this
can be extremely challenging in tasks that require teamwork efforts from all members. However
, having adequate dependence on each other straightforwardly addresses this
issue. Additionally
, this
reliance enables people to enhance a wide range of soft skills, for instance
, communication and negotiation ability, especially in a group discussion. As a result
, collaborative workers emerge in almost all enterprises, pushing the entire society toward sustainability.
From this
writer’s experience, communities must focus on an independent lifestyle to stabilize their later careers. It should be well-known that the vast of activities in daily routines do not require collaboration, therefore
owning a certain level of independence is essential both for fulfilling self-exploring habits and improving time management. Consequently
, achievements should be close to the population’s range.
Obviously, this
essay has shown the primary factors which contribute to becoming independent according to
self-develop considerations. Thus
, independence is less favourable than the opposite.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
While the essay presents a clear position and covers both sides of the argument, it would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, citing specific scenarios where individuals gain from independence or dependence could strengthen the argument.
coherence
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but certain areas could benefit from smoother transitions. Try to use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points more effectively.
cohesion
Some of the ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively, but there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can detract from the clarity. Review the essay for grammatical accuracy and consider rephrasing some sentences for better readability.
coherence
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer’s position.
task response
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before giving the writer’s opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.