Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In today's fast-paced world, a large number of individuals with different health conditions are trying new medicines and various treatments in order to visit their own
doctor
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. To my
best
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apply
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knowledge, it is totally true to try alternatives
due to
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the fact that modern ones can be more beneficial than the old ones. In the 21st century,
medicine
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has developed and requires individuals to have
effective
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an effective
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and quicker recovery.
Additionally
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, with a wide range of diverse techniques in
medicine
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, sick people have access to move on from their diseases.
For instance
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, in Kazakh hospitals, there is a treatment program which sends residents to foreign clinics to give them a chance to try their unusual
medicine
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called "Fight cancer,' which is financed by the national government annually.
Furthermore
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, with
this
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program, Kazakh citizens have an opportunity to overcome their health problems with professional doctors from around the world for free.
However
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, many medicinal studies have proven that the relationship between patient and
doctor
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is as valuable as family. The first
doctor
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analyzes the patient first and prescribes the first
medicine
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according to
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their own disease.
Moreover
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,
that is
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how the patient considers the
doctor
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as their own
doctor
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as well.
Nevertheless
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, a minority of people opt to find alternatives to prescribed
medicine
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, even though they can continue taking the
medicine
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until the end of the acceptance plan.
For instance
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, an old woman in Kazakhstan visited almost five well-known doctors for
medicine
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against cancer from around the world, which had a really high cost. Despite all the treatments turning unsuccessful one by one she
finally
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took matters into her own hands and returned to her own
doctor
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. Mentioning both benefits and drawbacks, I can conclude that there are no big differences;
however
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, the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Try to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to better outline your view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Include a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Work on developing a more balanced argument by exploring both sides of the issue in equal measure. This will help in fully addressing the question.
task achievement
You effectively use specific examples to support your points, such as the 'Fight cancer' program in Kazakh hospitals.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good effort to structure your ideas logically and present them in an organized manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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