Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

In today's fast-paced world, a large number of individuals with different health conditions are trying new medicines and various treatments in order to visit their own

doctor

. To my

best

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

knowledge, it is totally true to try alternatives

due to

the fact that modern ones can be more beneficial than the old ones. In the 21st century,

medicine

has developed and requires individuals to have

effective

Add an article

an effective

show examples

and quicker recovery.

Additionally

, with a wide range of diverse techniques in

medicine

, sick people have access to move on from their diseases.

For instance

, in Kazakh hospitals, there is a treatment program which sends residents to foreign clinics to give them a chance to try their unusual

medicine

called "Fight cancer,' which is financed by the national government annually.

Furthermore

, with

this

program, Kazakh citizens have an opportunity to overcome their health problems with professional doctors from around the world for free.

However

, many medicinal studies have proven that the relationship between patient and

doctor

is as valuable as family. The first

doctor

analyzes the patient first and prescribes the first

medicine

according to

their own disease.

Moreover

that is

how the patient considers the

doctor

as their own

doctor

as well.

Nevertheless

, a minority of people opt to find alternatives to prescribed

medicine

, even though they can continue taking the

medicine

until the end of the acceptance plan.

For instance

, an old woman in Kazakhstan visited almost five well-known doctors for

medicine

against cancer from around the world, which had a really high cost. Despite all the treatments turning unsuccessful one by one she

finally

took matters into her own hands and returned to her own

doctor

. Mentioning both benefits and drawbacks, I can conclude that there are no big differences;

however

, the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu May 09 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to better outline your view on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Include a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Work on developing a more balanced argument by exploring both sides of the issue in equal measure. This will help in fully addressing the question.

task achievement

You effectively use specific examples to support your points, such as the 'Fight cancer' program in Kazakh hospitals.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good effort to structure your ideas logically and present them in an organized manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealth with internationally. Others think that they have to be solved locally. What is your opinion?

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.