The figures below compare the number of internet users in several European nations as well as the prevalence of online shopping in these countries.

A glance at the table and the pie chart delineates information about surfing on the
Internet
for some countries in Europe, the former focusing on the number of users in the
years
1995, 2000, and 2004, and the latter concerning the popularity of shopping using the
Internet
in 2004. At first sight, it can be explicitly perceived that the distinguished European nations generally were charmed more engaging the
Internet
over the chronological framework, accompanied by Britishers and Frenches as the maximum users per the three
years
and shoppers through the
Internet
in 2004, respectively. Enhancing from 16
million
in 1995 to 22
million
in 2000, Brit users reached a staggering summit of 41
million
in 2004, culminating in all these countries and
years
. Germany stood in second ranking with 5, 14, and 15
million
citizens using the
Internet
in the order of 1995, 2000, and 2004,
while
tertiary was allocated to French peoples by a mounted threefold of 2, 3, and 6
million
for these
years
. Swiss and Spanish nations,
however
, encompassed approximately lower and mere enthusiasts of
this
significant technology who were the penultimate and least proponents. Meanwhile, it is noteworthy that France's population preferred
Internet
shopping in 2004, outnumbering Switzerland's people.
This
was followed by Germans in third importance among these three countries.
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Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show comparisons, contrasts, and sequence more clearly. This will improve the flow and understanding of your essay.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising and refining the introduction and conclusion to ensure they precisely encapsulate the main ideas and findings of the analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provided a clear, structured introduction that set the scene for the analysis.
Task Achievement
Used specific data to support main points effectively, demonstrating good understanding and analysis of the given figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Managed to maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, aiding in the reader's comprehension.

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