IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Describe a good advertisement that you think is useful You should say: - Where you can see it - What it shows - Why you think it is useful - And explain how you feel about it

#advertisement
Well, I do not like to watch ads anywhere but I cannot avoid
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
show examples
 it is everywhere.
While
 I watch shows on my phone, there are ads
Correct pronoun usage
that appears
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appears
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
 in between and usually I skip them but here, I want to talk about an
ad
 which was catchy. There is a word used in that
ad
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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says "
thank
Capitalize word
Thank
show examples
 you
Add the comma(s)
, mom
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mom
Capitalize word
Mom
show examples
".
This
adis
Correct your spelling
is
 related to a nestle company of
choclate
Correct your spelling
chocolate
 shakes.
Therer
Correct your spelling
There
 is a mom behind a
child
 in that advertisement and it shows how a
maother
Correct your spelling
mother
 encourages her
child
 to play football and cricket. She motivates her
child
 by giving her
Correct article usage
a nestle
show examples
nestle
Capitalize word
Nestle
show examples
choclate
Correct your spelling
chocolate
 cup.
Ofcourse
Correct your spelling
Of course
 the main
moto
Correct your spelling
motto
show examples
 of the advertisement
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 earn money for the company but it really gives a positive message that there is a
mother
 who keeps on
sacrifices
Wrong verb form
sacrificing
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 for her
child
. When her
child
 is playing in scorchy heat, she is
besides
Replace the word
beside
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 her
child
 to keep motivating her and when her
child
 wins the match she
pour
Change the verb form
pours
show examples
 her a
nestle
Capitalize word
Nestle
show examples
 cup
Change preposition
of choclate
show examples
choclate
Correct your spelling
chocolate
. It is a useful
ad
 because it shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how important is to have a
mother
 in life and it
also
 shows
love
Add an article
the love
show examples
 between a
child
 and her
mother
. Whenever I watch
this
ad
 it reminds me of my own
mother
 and her love towards me and sometimes I think that I am very grateful because I have a
mother
 in my life which sometimes I take for granted. In
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
this
ad
 has a positive message towards the public to have a value for their
mother's
Change noun form
mothers
show examples
 and the sacrifices they make for us to
see
Verb problem
be
show examples
 happy.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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Grammar
To further enhance your response, try adding more variety to your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical skills.
Vocabulary
Consider using more precise vocabulary to better express your thoughts and make your description more vivid.
Task Response
For an even higher score, ensure that all parts of your speech directly relate to the topic of the advertisement's usefulness. Including more details on how the advertisement directly influences behavior or perceptions could strengthen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, try linking your ideas more smoothly with transitional phrases that guide the listener through your narrative.
Task Achievement
The description provides a clear response to the prompt, discussing the advertisement’s setting, message, and personal impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
You did well to organize your response with a beginning, middle, and ending, helping to maintain a logical structure throughout.
Task Engagement
Including personal reflections on the ad's impact adds a valuable dimension to your response, making it more engaging and relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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