IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that uniform in schools is unnecessary and should be banned. To what extent do you agree?

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People have different views
whether
Change preposition
on whether
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 the
school
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's
uniform
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 is necessary or not
to
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for
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students
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. Some people think
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school'
Correct your spelling
school
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uniforms
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 should be banned because it is unnecessary
while
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 others suggest that
uniform
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 laws in schools have many advantages for
students
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. I partly agree with
this
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 statement that
school
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uniform
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uniforms
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 have a variety of merits for
students
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,
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however
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however,
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 there are
also
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 some disadvantages that we have to consider
it
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apply
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. On the one hand, there are some grounds to support
this
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 view that
uniforms
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 in schools have to be banned.
Firstly
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,
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uniform's
Correct article usage
the uniform's
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 shapes are all the same. In fact, the appearance that people how they wear their clothes can show their identity.
For instance
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, most youths can show their personality or interests by wearing various clothes or fashion items ,
eventhough
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even though
 some items are costly
high
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apply
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, they purchase these
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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 to boast .
Therefore
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 resisting that
student
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's outfit could take out
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student's
Correct article usage
a student's
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 freedom.
On the other hand
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, I am of the opinion that
the
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apply
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school
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uniforms
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 have a number of merits to
students
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To begin
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 with, sometimes
students
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 spend most of their morning time in front of the mirror to check and
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 their clothes which can boost their appearance. In
this
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 case, its behaviours can lead to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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obstacles
of
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to
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 education.
According to
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 recent academic
researches
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research
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, a great number of
students
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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tend to care about their appearance too much than their
assigns
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assignments
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 or
school
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 life. In the same vein,
due to
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 the same forms of
uniforms
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that
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apply
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regardless of
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student's
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students'
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 identities,
uniforms
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 can reduce
that
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apply
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wasting their time
to concern
Change the verb form
concerned
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 with how they look.
As a result
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, in the educational aspects,
school
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uniform
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uniforms
show examples
 would be helpful to
students
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 for long periods.  In conclusion, technically, it is not a clear-cut issue.
Although
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 there are impossible to deny good points of banning
uniforms
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, there are
also
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 significant merits of wearing
uniforms
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.
However
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, in my opinion,
school
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uniform
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 laws should allow to schools because it could be a good point to increase
student
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's
academical
Replace the word
academic
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influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to more smoothly connect your ideas.
Task Response
Ensure precise use of vocabulary and avoidance of repetition to improve the clarity of your arguments. This helps in making your position and reasoning more compelling.
Task Response
Work on refining your conclusion to more decisively summarize your viewpoint and the reasons behind it. This strengthens your essay by leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your stance.
Language
Be mindful of minor grammatical inaccuracies and spelling errors, as refining these can contribute to a more professional and polished presentation of your ideas.
Task Response
You introduced the topic well, clearly presenting the debate on school uniforms.
Task Response
You successfully outlined both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay benefits from a logical structure, with clear paragraphs each addressing a specific point of the argument.
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