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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
#shops #country
The line graph compares two
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
shops
 which the
number
 of closed and new opened in a country in seven years
Overall
,
shops
 that closed dropped significantly in that period but
this
 rate grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at the end
 of
term
Correct article usage
the term
show examples
. The
number
 of closed
shops
 did not observe very much
however
, it declined final stage. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of closed
shops
 changed its grade several times between 2011 and 2014 from 5500 to 7100 respectively but
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
 graph shows that
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its amount had a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 reduction in 2015
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
 500. At that time
opened
Wrong verb form
opens
show examples
 did not have as
quickly
Change the word
quick
show examples
 plunge. After that time closures
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 just above
5
Correct your spelling
5k
k
 in 2016. The next
3 year
Add a hyphen
3-year
show examples
closures
Fix the agreement mistake
closure
show examples
 grade changed
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
5
Correct your spelling
5k
k
 and 5,2
k
 The amount of opened
shops
 decreased sharply to
4
Correct your spelling
4k
k
 in 2012
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it increased
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
6
Correct your spelling
6k
k
 from 2012 to 2014. At that time the total of department store started to drop
4
Correct your spelling
4k
k
 and 4,1k respectively. In 2018 it reached its
a the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lowest point in 8 years approximately
3
Correct your spelling
3k
k
 in 2018. The graph below shows the
number
 of
shops
 that closed and the
number
 of new
shops
 that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, number, k with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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