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Writing Samples
Band 7

in many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

Schooling is an important aspect of
this
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 modern world and
thus
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 parents take certain precautions for their
kids
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. In some countries, parents have reservations about sending their wards to co-ed
schools
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 and
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
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 same-sex
schools
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.
However
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,
this
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 can create multiple drawbacks as
children
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 age.
Hence
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, I believe co-education
schools
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 help in
children
Use synonyms
's all-round development and I have the following reasons to support my stance.
Firstly
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, parents send their
kids
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 to either boys or girls school mainly
due to
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 its safe nature.
For instance
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, in girl's college, all teachers would be females as well and
thus
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 they get a sense of relief that their child would be safe inside.
Moreover
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, some
children
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 would have grown up in an orthodox family and based on their own value system, speaking to another gender might be against their culture, until a certain age. Henceforth, they admit their little ones in these special
schools
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.
But
Correct word choice
On
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on the other hand
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, as these
kids
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 age and join the workforce, they might struggle because of their lack of social
skills
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 to deal with the opposite sex. Social
skills
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 are as important as intellectual
skills
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 and
hence
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, without these social skillsets, they face huge impediments in their work career.
For example
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, based on a recent survey conducted in an Indian IT organization, employees coming from single-sex
schools
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 have reported facing huge struggles in their corporate careers.
In addition
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 to
this
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, these
children
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 may lack courage when they face society. Since they were used to a familiar environment of their own sex, they often find it difficult to adapt to a challenging environment and may face anxiety. In some extreme cases,
this
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 anxiety creeps up and affects their personal love & marriage life as well. So
to conclude
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, in my opinion, single-sex
schools
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 offer certain advantages to
kids
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, but from a holistic perspective, it has many flaws, which can affect them when they grow.
Hence
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, I support co-education
schools
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, since they help moulding well-rounded students with courage and great social
skills
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.

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task achievement
To enhance clarity and impact, consider linking your ideas more explicitly to your stance throughout the essay. While you present a clear argument, reinforcing how each point directly supports your opinion could make your position more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Incorporating a wider variety of transition words and phrases could improve the fluidity between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall readability and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Expanding on your examples with more detailed scenarios or data could strengthen your argument, providing more concrete evidence to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present your stance, effectively framing your argument and summarizing your key points.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your main points, demonstrating an understanding of the essay question and contributing to a well-structured argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • interpersonal skills
  • misconceptions
  • stereotypes
  • co-educational schooling
  • tailored curriculum
  • STEM fields
  • humanities
  • sexual harassment
  • safer learning environment
  • mixed-gender contexts
  • social development
  • diverse workplaces
  • professional relationships
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