IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Students should pay full costfor their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #costfor #study #university #education #individuals #society
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational
cilvilization
Correct your spelling
civilization
, there are some assets for universal
students
 who purchase a certain cost on studying fields with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive impact on
individuals
 than
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. From my perspective, I totally
concede
Verb problem
agree
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 with that perception and
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 following paragraph will discuss more about it. First of all,the studying programme
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of payments which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 used to support public purposes. The costs of studying that containing social activities thereby doing volunteers and raising money for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 were conducted by some colleges
in
Change preposition
apply
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each year. If
students
 pay all of
learning
Correct pronoun usage
their learning
show examples
 costs, it
uses
Wrong verb form
is used
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 for improving the infrastructure and the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
are
Verb problem
apply
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also
evolved
Wrong verb form
evolves
show examples
. Many social requirements
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 taxes and personal taxes are resolved accurately. Turning to the main point, paying full
of
Change preposition
apply
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cost is the benefit that
effect
Verb problem
affects
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 completely on
individuals
,
students
 have some advantages
that
Change preposition
in that
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 they can focus on the fundamental fields of studying programme. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no doubt about the positive effects that
students
 gain.
However
, it
also
 can provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
priority in some cases, the
colleges staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
college staff
show examples
 and teachers will pay more attention to
student'
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
 than the payment they must purchase. Many workers
for
Change preposition
at
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 university
also
 have their salaries in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 period
time
Change preposition
of time
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therefore
 it will improve their
qualities
Fix the agreement mistake
quality
show examples
 of teaching. In conclusion, there are some assets
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides which impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society and
individuals
.
However
, the benefit of
individuals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 taken a lot of consideration than the other.
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Task Achievement
Try to clarify your arguments and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly related to the question.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and directly related to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more logically. Begin with a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your views.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas more clearly, improving the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You address the topic and provide an opinion, showing an understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
The effort to provide arguments for your perspective is clear, which is essential for the essay type.
Coherence and Cohesion
You made an attempt to organize your essay into paragraphs, which is a good practice for structuring your thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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