IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Student should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#student #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
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Some people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should pay
everything
Change preposition
for everything
show examples
 for their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since only
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
, not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. The author
agreed
Wrong verb form
agrees
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
ideal
Correct your spelling
idea
show examples
 and will give reasons why. First of all,
student
 go to
university
 for their own self. They want to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher education, to
acquired
Change the form of the verb
acquire
show examples
 new knowledge.
Society
 only
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 benefits if
student
 choose to stay and work for their government. And if they choose to live abroad,
this
 can be a big disadvantage for
society
. Take Ho Chi Minh City as an example, 90% of students who go to universities have to
paid
Change the verb
pay
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost for their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, including the cost that they need to make passports and tickets to go.
Moreover
,
this
 can be a benefit for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to learn how to plan for their future. They will have to learn how to manage
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 for their own life.
For instance
, many students have to learn how to balance their life and their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
while
 they are
learning
Verb problem
studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education can be a good deal to make the
student
 become more independent, and
also
 a good way to keep the
student
stay to learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Moreover
,
this
 can be a trend to help
student
 autonomy.
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Introduction
Start your essay with a clearer introduction, stating clearly your position on the topic to guide the reader.
Cohesion
Using a broader range of linking words and paragraph structures can enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
Supporting Information
Try to develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations.
Language
Check for minor inaccuracies in grammar and word choice to enhance clarity and precision.
Conclusion
End your essay with a more powerful conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
Position
The essay has a clear stance on the topic, which is maintained throughout.
Examples
You made an effort to provide examples, such as the reference to Ho Chi Minh City, which illustrates attempts at supporting your argument.
Balanced Argument
The essay attempts to cover both sides of the argument, considering the benefits to the individual and potential implications for society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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