Students should pay full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
students
might have paid
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
cost for their own
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
because
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
some benefits
Change preposition
to individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
rather than
society
. The writer of
this
essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
statement and will explain
a good evidence
Remove the article
good evidence
a piece of good evidence
a shred of good evidence
show examples
for
students
should pay and gain benefits at the
university
.
Firstly
, the reason why
students
choose to invest more time or money at the
university
than
society
Change preposition
in society
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
they want to develop
theirself
Correct your spelling
their self
by collecting new knowledge,
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with other
students
at the
university
. When they finish and graduate from their
university
, with the knowledge they have learnt at the
university
, they can deal with some problems they can come across in the future. All of
benefits
Add an article
the benefits
show examples
I have explained can help you more and more confident when you
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
your
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
in a real
society
.
Secondly
, at the
university
, you will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
learnt and collected experience that you have spent and moral training to become a good person.
For instance
, when you go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, the knowledge you have collected and with other people, you can cooperate with them to develop your
society
. You can join
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
charity group to help and donate
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
people who have a poverty life or make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
event to introduce and bring some good things to your resident and help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
how to avoid many bad things in their life. The work you have done for your
society
can make it to become develop and friendly. In conclusion,
students
should pay
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
cost for their own
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
at the
university
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
society
. You can improve yourself,
training
Wrong verb form
train
show examples
to get a good moral or make your dream
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
become realistic easily. The advantages that
students
get at the
university
is a good evidence to show
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
why they must choose it.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Focus on developing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to clarify your position from the beginning.
supported main points
Try to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details are directly related to the main topic.
logical structure
Include a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
Expand on your examples by providing more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Make sure to directly address the prompt by clearly stating the extent to which you agree or disagree and consistently support this stance throughout your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on refining your argument's clarity by organizing ideas more logically, helping readers follow and understand your perspective better.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure your argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
You have attempted to use examples to support your points, which is good practice in essay writing.
complete response
You've engaged with the topic personally, reflecting on how university education can benefit individuals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: