IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #robots #role #future #societies #effects #society
One
 school of thought holds that robots will be an integral part of our communities,
while
 others believe that could be fraught with pitfalls in the times to come.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the former notion. On the
one
 hand, robotic applications could be disadvantageous to a certain extent. First and foremost,
this
 tendency could lead to an increased unemployment rate.
For instance
, some factories in Vietnam applied automated machines and processes , which caused many people to end up jobless since the demand for manual workers was on the decline.
Furthermore
, the enormous cost incurred to research and introduce robotic technologies would put a strain on government coffers.
As a result
,
this
 could lead to budget deficits, tax hikes, or reduced social welfare, thereby forcing ordinary citizens, especially the underprivileged, to struggle even more to earn a living.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that the development of robotic engineering will play a decisive role in the development of our communities in the foreseeable future.
One
 rationale is that
this
 technological advancement could help people free up their time for more enjoyable activities.
For example
, the robotic vacuum cleaner is
one
 of the greatest inventions in household appliances. It easily moves under furniture and other obstacles to sweep and mop the floor, so it allows housewives to save valuable time on their household chores. Another justification is that automation robots could help workers improve safety in the workplace.
This
 could replace humans with dangerous tasks, which would reduce the number of workplace accidents and fatalities. In conclusion, even though it is irrefutable that robotics engineering could give rise to a number of adverse implications, I would contend that it will
one
 day become an irreplaceable part of human society.
Submitted by thaongoccc25 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay has a clear and direct thesis statement in the introduction. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious with your word choice to ensure clarity. Some phrases could be simplified to improve readability without sacrificing the complexity of the argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure a balance in discussing both views. While you've provided a clear preference, both sides should be equally elaborated to meet the requirements fully.
Task Achievement
You have effectively used examples to support your main points, enhancing the strength of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs demonstrates good use of coherence and cohesion techniques.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, providing a clear overview and a strong closing of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Automation
  • Cybernetics
  • Efficiency
  • Job displacement
  • Manual labor
  • Robotics
  • Sophisticated machinery
  • Technological advancements
  • Workplace safety
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