Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are becoming less popular than in the past. Do you agree or disagree? What can parents and teachers do about this?
The significance of traditional
customs
has been dwindling in recent years, sparking concerns about cultural preservation. I agree that traditional Use synonyms
customs
are losing their relevance, and Use synonyms
this
trend is evident in many countries.
Linking Words
Primarly
, In India, Correct your spelling
Primarily
for instance
, the traditional joint family system is disintegrating, leading to a decline in customary practices like the Guru-Shishya Parampara (teacher-disciple tradition). Linking Words
This
ancient custom, where students lived with their gurus to learn music, art, or spirituality, is now largely replaced by modern educational institutions. The erosion of Linking Words
such
Linking Words
customs
not only affects cultural heritage but Use synonyms
also
weakens Linking Words
community
bonds. Teachers can incorporate storytelling, folk music, and traditional art into school curricula, making cultural education engaging and relevant. Use synonyms
Parents
can Use synonyms
also
encourage children to participate in cultural events and engage with Linking Words
community
elders to learn about Use synonyms
customs
.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, teachers and Linking Words
parents
can play a pivotal role in reviving interest in traditional Use synonyms
customs
. In India, schools like the Rishi Valley School in Andhra Pradesh have successfully integrated traditional arts and crafts into their curriculum. Use synonyms
Furthermore
,by incorporating activities like yoga, meditation, and classical music, these schools help students appreciate their cultural roots. Linking Words
Parents
can Use synonyms
also
encourage children to participate in cultural festivals and events, Linking Words
such
as Diwali or Holi celebrations, to foster a sense of Linking Words
community
and belonging.
In conclusion, the decline of traditional Use synonyms
customs
is a pressing issue that requires collective efforts from Use synonyms
parents
and teachers. By incorporating cultural education into school curricula and promoting Use synonyms
community
involvement, we can ensure the preservation of our rich cultural heritage for future generations. It is crucial that we strike a balance between modernization and cultural preservation to maintain our unique identitiesUse synonyms
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task achievement
While your arguments were valid and well-articulated, there was room for more detailed discussion on the reasons behind the diminishing significance of traditional customs. Consider expanding on why this trend is occurring to offer a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally followed a logical structure, but the transition between the body paragraphs could be smoother. Using clearer transitional phrases would improve the overall flow of the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively includes an introduction and conclusion that neatly encapsulate the main point of discussion, which is critical for the coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
Examples from specific contexts (such as India) add depth to your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.