Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are becoming less popular than in the past. Do you agree or disagree? What can parents and teachers do about this?
The significance of traditional
customs
has been dwindling in recent years, sparking concerns about cultural preservation. I agree that traditional customs
are losing their relevance, and this
trend is evident in many countries.
Primarly
, In India, Correct your spelling
Primarily
for instance
, the traditional joint family system is disintegrating, leading to a decline in customary practices like the Guru-Shishya Parampara (teacher-disciple tradition). This
ancient custom, where students lived with their gurus to learn music, art, or spirituality, is now largely replaced by modern educational institutions. The erosion of such
customs
not only affects cultural heritage but also
weakens community
bonds. Teachers can incorporate storytelling, folk music, and traditional art into school curricula, making cultural education engaging and relevant. Parents
can also
encourage children to participate in cultural events and engage with community
elders to learn about customs
.
Moreover
, teachers and parents
can play a pivotal role in reviving interest in traditional customs
. In India, schools like the Rishi Valley School in Andhra Pradesh have successfully integrated traditional arts and crafts into their curriculum. Furthermore
,by incorporating activities like yoga, meditation, and classical music, these schools help students appreciate their cultural roots. Parents
can also
encourage children to participate in cultural festivals and events, such
as Diwali or Holi celebrations, to foster a sense of community
and belonging.
In conclusion, the decline of traditional customs
is a pressing issue that requires collective efforts from parents
and teachers. By incorporating cultural education into school curricula and promoting community
involvement, we can ensure the preservation of our rich cultural heritage for future generations. It is crucial that we strike a balance between modernization and cultural preservation to maintain our unique identitiesSubmitted by drnivyamohan1992 on
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task achievement
While your arguments were valid and well-articulated, there was room for more detailed discussion on the reasons behind the diminishing significance of traditional customs. Consider expanding on why this trend is occurring to offer a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally followed a logical structure, but the transition between the body paragraphs could be smoother. Using clearer transitional phrases would improve the overall flow of the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively includes an introduction and conclusion that neatly encapsulate the main point of discussion, which is critical for the coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
Examples from specific contexts (such as India) add depth to your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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