Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
the development of technology,some people argue that attending a live pageant is more satisfying than watching a similar occurrence on TV. The writer of
this
essay agrees with the statement because of realistic sensation and untried exposure.
To begin
with,feeling pragmatic may be one of the elements that lead to enjoyment.To be more specific,many children are fond of participating in live displays because youth can see realistic objects or even touch those objects.
Additionally
,the spontaneous and unpredictable nature of live performances, where anything can happen, adds to the excitement.
This
authenticity is often diluted in televised versions, where edits can remove errors or unexpected events.
Consequently
, those actions can become a nostalgic memory.
For instance
, Iso Speed who was known as Ronaldo's fan had a chance to meet his idol at a match in Saudi Speed was utterly happy and said that he would not forget that moment.
On the other hand
, new knowledge is one of the core reasons that make audiences feel satisfied.To put it simply,the young and elderly always want to try strange things.
Moreover
, in some shows, MC may ask some congregations to help them finish experiments.
As a result
, spectators may have a special time after the parade and remember that intimacy.
Furthermore
, those experiences can
also
help audiences gain more knowledge in the display.
For example
, in a variety of magic shows, the magicians ask the crowd to support them after that the watchers all say that was a terrific participation they have ever had. Taking everything into account,realistic sensations and untried experiences are justifiable reasons why humans should watch live performances.
Therefore
,it should have been demonstrated that enrolling in live shows is more enjoyable than watching on television.
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Coherence
Ensure consistency in verb tense throughout your essay to maintain clarity and coherence.
Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Review and correct minor grammatical errors and typos to polish your writing.
Task Achievement
You effectively supported your arguments with specific examples, which strengthens your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing your essay well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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