IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006
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The below bar chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of people visiting 3 different museums over a period of 5 years in 3 different countries.
It is clear that
Linking Words
National
Correct article usage
the National
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 China
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 was the most
visiting
Wrong verb form
visited
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museum
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2005,
while
Linking Words
 there was a significant decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
Edo-Tokyo
Correct article usage
the Edo-Tokyo
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the chart
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to Met, New York
museum
Use synonyms
 had a gradual decrease from 12
million
Use synonyms
 till 2003 and reaching to 10
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Edo-Tokyo
museum
Use synonyms
 was the most visited
museum
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of
shown
Add an article
the shown
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 period with
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of almost 13
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it
Unnecessary verb
apply
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has
Verb problem
apply
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considerably dipped to just over 6
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and gradually climbed to 10
million
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given period. When it comes to
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 China
Museum
Use synonyms
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 only decreased to
this
Linking Words
Museum
Use synonyms
 from 6
millions
Change to singular
million
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 to just below 16
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, museum, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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